By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 3/22/2015 at 5:20 PM

Tel Aviv As the repercussions of last week’s elections continue to ripple through Israel, the Haaretz editorial board has decided that the most appropriate service it can render its readership this week is not a newspaper, but rather some tissues, a box of chocolates, and a good tear-jerker of a movie. “Our readers are hurting, and we need to help them.” read Haaretz Editorial Board’s statement last night.  “We felt that for the Left, this would be the most cathartic response to what happened.  In addition, it might stop some of us from telling our political opponents that they are Neanderthals who should drink cyanide (Note: This really happened!)“.  With the success of their newspaper replacement this week, Haaretz plans to replace its online edition with an Itunes Playlist consisting of songs by Morrissey, The Cure, and Dido.