“I was only down there for the acoustics!”
By Yuval Weiss
Last Updated 2/21/2016 at 11:20 PM
Gaza City: Famed singer/songwriter/activist/dick Roger Waters is in serious but stable condition after getting caught in the collapse of a tunnel southeast of Gaza City earlier today. The Daily Freier was at the scene when a representative from the Palestinian Red Crescent briefed the assembled press. “It was approximately 3:00 PM when the Zionist Entity and its Egyptian lackeys triggered a cave-in of the tunnel, trapping 3 of our pious and motivated young tunnelers, as well as our bizarre but helpful friend Mister Roger Waters.”
When asked by MSNBC how rescue workers were able to find Mr. Waters, the spokesperson explained. “The tunnel was impassable to humans at this point, so we brought in Farfour the Mouse. He was able to find our friend by homing in on the intense scent of bitter self-righteousness that emanated from his body even when he was unconscious. Incidentally, this was exactly how we found Jimmy Carter after he accidentally wandered into the Sand Dunes last year during Ramadan.”
For his part, Roger Waters was insistent that he had done nothing wrong. “I know that the Zionists and their friends in the press will try to spin this in some negative light, but I was merely in the tunnel for its acoustics. You see, I’m recording a new single “Indigenous Olive Oil Can Flow Through Any Wall”, and I really needed just the right sound. But I think the vibrations from the snare drum may have set off a tremor and destroyed the tunnel.”
When the Daily Freier pointed out that since the tunnels go under the border, that he may have inadvertently stepped into Israel, he got really upset and his catheter fell out.
Is there some way of repenting for having been a fan of this d@!/ head terrorist. Was this on one if his human rights missions to the Middle East .what did he have to say about the short little people that were building the tunnel while he checked out the acoustics. Did the small diggers’ voices sound more mature in the tunnels. BLOODY HYPOCRITE.
Just checking that you know this is a satire site – asking if he was on a mission to the Middle East makes it look like you think this actually happened.
Wait….this is satire????
WHAT A STUPID MAN!! WHAT WAS HE DOING THERE? WE CAN MAKE ANY KIND OF SOUND WITH ELECTRONIC GADGETS SO WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO GO THERE JUST FOR ACOUSTIC? REALLY STUPID…..
You call someone a “stupid man” and did not understand that this is a satire? Wow, that’s brave!
The music is make with a instruments, the electonic is ramish
Omg. You have to be American right?
Thank you for the caps lock. I might not have heard your post otherwise. Reread the article closely then ask yourself who the stupid man is.
fake news blows
You people are really gullible!
Can’t believe he is in stable condition after being so unstable for so long. LOL!
This is SATIRE, folks…
Only a satire site would ever say that Roger Waters was in stable condition.
This isn’t especially GOOD satire. Just to compare it to The Onion in its glory days, it suffers from the “More Angry Than Funny” syndrome that affects so many would-bes in the comedy field. The highlight was the opening line: “Famed singer/songwriter/activist/dick Roger Waters …” No matter that I love the guy; that line is funny and I’ll admit it. After that, however, the jokes didn’t really land.
Good points, but r/e “More Angry Than Funny”, our therapist would kindly disagree with you.
I understand that he survived because his head was being protected by his asshole.
Dude has serious issues.