(Photo Credit: Nir Hauser)

By Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 4/21/2016 at 2:00 PM

Tel Aviv, Kikar Rabin: The city’s various forms of garbage gathered this afternoon in Rabin Square to protest their potential displacement from the sidewalk under the city’s new mandatory bike lane laws.  The Daily Freier walked over to find out what all fuss was about.

“I’ve been on this sidewalk for over 7 years, and nobody has ever said anything.” announced a large green garbage can named Elad. “But now, because bikes can’t stay out-of-the-way of pedestrians, suddenly we’re the ones who will suffer.  The new bike lane is WAY WAY up in my personal space.”

“This just isn’t fair.” complained Galit, an orange container dedicated to recyclables. “It’s hard enough teaching Israelis what should and shouldn’t be placed in the recyclables.  But now they’re threatening to kick me out of my favorite spot in front of the AM/PM next to the plastic bottle bin on the corner.  All my friends are there!”

It wasn’t just the standard garbage receptacles complaining either. “I’m performing a public service.” declared Snir, a 5 Square metre pile of miscellaneous trash that included coat hangars, baby clothes, potting soil, old womens’ shoes, a Pentium 486 computer, and a Van Morrison CD. “All week long people rummage through me and take things home with them.  A Lone Soldier basically furnished his room just from stuff I had lying around.”

At one point the garbage cans engaged in civil disobedience by purposely blocking the bike lanes and forcing bicyclists to ride in the pedestrian area of the sidewalk, but it looked too much like “every other day in Tel Aviv” and nobody noticed.