Humans of Israel and Beyond!  This week the Daily Freier challenged you to build your own Sarah Tuttle-Singer article…..and almost 800 of you took time out of your busy schedules of trolling each other to participate in the contest. We had incredible results. Amazing results. The best results. Just the best. So much winning. We actually got bored of winning! Anyways, without further ado, here are the runner-ups and the winner of this auspicious contest. Shabbat Shalom!

SECOND RUNNER UP!

Hi. You didn’t know me then but I used to troll Secret Tel Aviv. But now I live in Jerusalem so let me tell you about my dry cleaner who used to be in Hamas but now is into tai-chi. Anyway, let me tell you about My Israel. In My Israel there’s a cat that hangs around outside the medical marijuana building getting a contact high. Which reminds me of why I really really can’t stand Bibi. And don’t get me started on Trump today.  The wall!

FIRST RUNNER UP!

Hi. You didn’t know me then but I used to have a major crush on Naftali Bennett. But now I live in Jerusalem so let me tell you about the Haredi lady in my soul cycle class who votes Meretz. Anyway, let me tell you about My Israel. In My Israel there’s a Druze cab driver who looks kind of like Larry David. Which reminds me of why….No you don’t get it. I REALLY can’t stand Bibi. And don’t get me started on Trump today. @&${>^©©|]€¢¥)&@

AND THE WINNER IS…..

Hi. You didn’t know me then but I used to get really baked and crank call Likud Headquarters. But now I live in Jerusalem so let me tell you about the Palestinian woman who knows every episode of Seinfeld. Anyway, let me tell you about My Israel. In My Israel there’s a Palestinian barber who keeps giving me advice about my use of punctuation. Which reminds me of why…. Hey! Are you even paying attention? I can’t stand Bibi!  And don’t get me started on Trump today. He should be impeached!