Linda (cheerfully): A salaam aleikum, Brother Issa!
Jesus of Nazareth: Hello my child, you appear to speak the language of Ishmael’s sons, many days journey into the desert beyond Edom. It is a language I do not understand. I speak Aramaic….. a bit of Thai I picked up when I was backpacking…..and Hebrew. You know, the language spoken by Jews like me…..who live in….. wait for it….. Judea.
Linda: Palestine.
Jesus: I am sorry, my child?
Linda: Palestine! You’re Palestinian! Hellooooo!
Jesus: Daughter of Ishmael, the Philistines disappeared from this land around the Year 600 Before….ummm….600 Years Before….ummm……Me.
Linda: So?
Jesus: So, Like NOBODY uses that term anymore. Not even the Essenes of the Wilderness. And they live alone in the desert without decent wi-fi.
Linda: Hey, I love your wooly Palestinian hair!
Jesus: The apostles call it my “Jewfro”, but Bless Your Heart.
Linda: OMG and you’ve got the most amazing Palestinian copper skin tone, just like me!
Jesus: (Looks at his skin, looks at Linda. Looks at his skin, looks at Linda.) But Linda my child, your skin is whiter than National Public Radio.
Linda: Whatever. So when are you going to Al-Quds, anyway?
Jesus: My child, you are using words that make no sense…. Listen, my Father’s house has many rooms. Maybe you might want to go visit a different one? You know, explore a bit? It’s just that I’m kinda busy. There’s a wedding feast tonight up north and the caterer stinks, so everyone is going to turn to you-know-who when they run out of wine. And don’t get me started on the fish.
Linda: Hey, a wedding! Maybe we can all dance the dabka. It’s a traditional Pales….
Jesus: Farewell my child. (Jesus disappears into the ether)
Linda: Wait, did I just get Holy Ghosted?
(Fade to Black)
