Category: Our “Cousins”

Palestinians fear fallout from huge cut in aid. Also, they bought a $50 Million Jet

Abbas AirlinesBy Lee Saunders and Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 1/29/2017 at 5:30 PM

Ramallah: There was renewed hope among Palestinians this week after Mahmoud Abbas bagged $50 million in aid money to buy himself a private jet. While some accused the Palestinian President of selling out his people, Abbas said he deserved it.

I am in the 14th year of my 4-year term and my legs aren’t what they used to be. I can’t be sat in armed jeeps the whole time, making things up, cursing, and handing out sweets to the kids.” he added.

The UN’s favorite little grandpa went on to say that he intended to use “Abbas Airlines” to transport his friends between Gaza City and Ramallah, once the freiers at the European Union  finished building them a luxury airport with a lovely baggage carousel.

Hamas also welcomed the move, adding that foreign visitors would be most welcome. Visas would be free, but tourists are expected to take out their own insurance n the unlikely event that yada yada yada. Tourists are already lining up for the opportunity to see Arafat’s Tomb, the Roger Waters Wax Museum, the United Nations School that definitely was NOT used to fire mortars at Israel, and the Hamas Bumblebee. Also, Hamas mentioned something about a tunnel connecting Gaza International’s main concourse and downtown Tel Aviv.

The Abbas Airlines aircraft, dubbed “Quds Force 1”, boasts 72 flight attendants, each covered head to toe. And apparently they’re virgins.


BREAKING: Inventors of the Suicide Bomb Dislike Metal Detectors

There is a story sending shock waves throughout the International Community today. Specifically, it appears that the folks who brought us the airline hijacking and the suicide bomber……. you may want to sit down for this one …….. well it appears that they really dislike metal detectors. Once again, the people who brought us the Munich Olympics massacre, the Entebbe Hijacking, and the Sbarro bombing……. are violently opposed to measures that may have prevented……. the Munich Olympics massacre, the Entebbe Hijacking, and the Sbarro bombing. The Daily Freier wandered around Jerusalem trying to make sense of it all.

(The Daily Freier is published on Israellycool today. Check it out!)