Category: The Hamas Bumblebee

Tensions Flare in Gaza as Israel Responds to Capture of its Spy Dolphin by Kidnapping the Hamas Bumblebee

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(Photo Credit: MEMRI TV)

By Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 8/19/2015 at 8:30 PM

Gaza City– The region is on edge as Israel retaliated for the capture of its spy dolphin off the Gaza coast by kidnapping Nachool the Hamas Bumblebee. Nachool, the host of a popular Gaza children’s show where he says some not-so-nice things about Jews, was snatched up late Wednesday evening and spirited away to an undisclosed location.  While to date there has been no official statement from the Israeli government, the Daily Freier spoke to a Shin Bet agent known only as “Motti” for the inside scoop.

“After Hamas captured our dolphin Shlomi, we knew we would need a bargaining chip to get him back.  So our sources in Gaza told us that Nachool spends Wednesday evenings at his mistress’s hive and is usually strung out on pollen.  When our team kicked in the door, he was so out of it that he didn’t even have a chance to sting us. We were out the door and in the van in 30 seconds.”

After the kidnapping, the streets of Gaza exploded in anger, as locals raged at perceived informants who betrayed their beloved Bumblebee.  Incidentally, Gaza police arrested local television personality Farfour the Mouse on suspicion that he had a role in his rival’s kidnapping.

International reaction to Israel’s action was swift, with Amnesty International, which described Nachool the Bumblebee as “a fruit merchant”, calling for a UN Security Council statement condemning Israel’s actions.  United States Secretary of State Kerry, who was in the region to host a matkot tournament, told the Daily Freier that he was for Israel’s actions before he was against them.

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Bumblebee from Hamas Children’s Show Getting a Bit Tired of Erdogan Stealing His Material

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(Photo Credit: MEMRI TV)

By Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 7/20/2014 at 2:30 PM

Gaza City– The Hamas Bumblebee, long famous for his Palestinian television show where he encourages children to kill Jews, lashed out at Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan earlier today. “Look, I’ve been paying my dues for years in this business” said the Bumblebee. “And in our business there’s a certain professional courtesy. You don’t steal other guys’ material. So when I turn on the TV and hear Erdogan’s speech, I went ballistic. I mean, c’mon. Saying the Israelis are now worse than Hitler? ……Me, back in 2010 during the Cat Stevens Special”  Mr. Bumblebee continued to vent, as he chain smoked Marlboro Reds and sipped a Pepsi that smelled remarkably like Johnny Walker. “Saying the Israeli actions are worse than the Holocaust? Helloooooo? Me, in 2011 on the episode where we had the Hamas –vs – Islamic Jihad beatboxing competition”. When asked what message he would like to pass on to the Turkish leader, Bumblebee stated, “Hey, trashing Jews is a big industry. We can all get a piece of the pie. Just respect guys like me who made our bones the hard way.” The Daily Freier Staff attempted to call the Prime Minister’s Office for comment, but we all have pretty Jewish sounding names, and his secretary hung up on us.