Shin Bet Actively Recruiting Your Friend Who Can Say With a Straight Face that Jerusalem Has a Great Party Scene

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By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 8/13/2015 at 1:30 PM

Jerusalem: Your friend Mike from back home is beginning to attract attention.  As he sat next to you in a bar on Ben Yehuda Street in Jerusalem telling you just how awesome the city’s scene is, a nondescript man in his mid-50’s discreetly eavesdropped from a nearby table and gave the Daily Freier reporter a quiet play-by-play of unfolding events.

“Just look at how he maintains eye contact with the subject while he tells him ‘Dude, you just don’t know what it’s like up here” noted the nondescript man, identified only as ‘Motti’.

“Notice how he keeps his arms at his side, signalling  openness, as he completely bullshits the guy by telling him ‘Jerusalem is just as good, JUST as good as Tel Aviv.”

Mike continued uttering complete BS to you as he explained “Jerusalem is actually BETTER, because it’s so underground. Do you know what I’m saying?” And no, you really don’t know what he’s saying.

As Mike continued to spin yarns to you, Motti explained what he saw; ” We need this guy on the inside. This man is a pro.  The way he completely fabricated a cool Jerusalem subculture that does not in fact actually exist .  I don’t understand how he is able to obfuscate with such a straight face and without any telltale verbal tics…….It’s almost as if he’s lying to himself.”

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