Category: Shameless Self Promotion

The Daily Freier is on the 2 Nice Jewish Boys Podcast!

Another piece of the puzzle! Sat down with the Two Nice Jewish Boys podcast to discuss all things Freieristic. Click the Link!

 

Episode 137 – The ‘Freier’ Behind ‘The Daily Freier’

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Choose your favorite Daily Freier story of 2018!

Hi Freiers! It’s time to discuss our favorite topic: Ourselves! So now you can read, re-read, and commit to memory our Top Ten stories of 2018 hyperlinked below, then choose your favorite story from the poll at the bottom of this page! So here they are, in no particular order. Winners will be announced next week. Choose Wisely, Freiers!

 

 

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1.  Obama wins 2nd Nobel Prize for creating the Israeli-Saudi alliance

2.  Mayhem as Hamas “March of Return” accidentally merges with Tel Aviv Pride Parade

3.  Julia Salazar: “My Hebrew name is רחל בת דולזל”

4.  Bulgaria busts Iranians with fake Israeli passports after they said “sorry”

5.  Sarah Tuttle-Singer narrates your Waze directions!

6.  Training for war, Hezbollah builds realistic model of Tel Aviv that’s unaffordable, full of pot smoke &        smells like pee

7.   The Forward exclusive: Hen Mazzig rumored to be Gay!

8.   Yeshiva Student’s delinquent phone bill almost crashes Israeli Economy

9.   Jeremy Corbyn reviews the new Eichmann Movie

10. Tel Aviv-Jerusalem Fast Train aims to remind the cities why they can’t stand each other in just 30              minutes

 

 

The Daily Freier asks Putin for his Tel Aviv apartment

To: Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian Federation

4 Staraya Square

Moscow, Russia 103132

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From: Office of the Daily Freier

Tel Aviv Central Bus Station, 4th Floor

Next to the Asian Grocery (Not that one, the other one)


Tovarisch!

Greetings from Tel Aviv! How are things in Moscow? Cold? We bet! While we still haven’t been to Moscow, we HAVE been to Ulpan Gordon, and it’s kind of similar! Anyhoo,we know you respect people who are direct and to the point (Hi Donald!) , so we will get right to be point:

Please Please Please give us the Tel Aviv apartment you just inherited.

We know that in the past you have given apartments to random Jews. And, Hey! We are Jews too! And, trust us, we are Random. Plus, our apartment is giving us allergies. It’s like the mold colony has its own personality or something. So we are really counting on you doing us a solid and letting us stay in your new apartment. But we also know you are a businessman, so we are willing to offer terms:

The Daily Freier will run at least one shirtless photo of you per month. With a gun. Or a crossbow. Maybe a photo of you on horseback. Or interacting with wildlife! The sky is the limit! Plus, we will satirize the hell out of Ukraine’s leadership. Just really give them the business. Know what we’re saying? Also, we are willing to pay the Arnona and Va’ad Bayit. Is the Va’ad Bayit OK? Does he actually fix anything? Let us know.

Thanks for keeping us in mind!

 

Yours in Freierhood,

 

 

The Daily Freier Staff

Choose your favorite Daily Freier story of 2017!

Folks, 2017 was a good year for the Daily Freier. Like, mamash good. So many stories. So very many stories. But which one is your favorite? Questions, Questions. So here is your chance to impose your own opinions on everybody else! Read, re-read, and commit to memory our Top Ten stories of 2017 hyperlinked below, then choose your favorite in the poll that follows. So here they are, in no particular order. Winners will be appear next week as a #TBT. Choose Wisely, Freiers!

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1) Aspiring Reform Rabbi dropped from HUC after he fails guitar class

2) Build your own Sarah Tuttle-Singer article!

3) Air Force One accidentally enters Israeli Independence Day Flyover

5) Hey Dad? Next Yom Kippur can I fast “Marwan Barghouti style”? (Israellycool)

6) Tel Aviv women compare the city’s bus lines to their ex-boyfriends

7) Dystopian Novel depicts a nightmare future Israel run by Anglo Olim

8) ‘I’m Okay!’…Roger Waters reassures fans after Gaza Tunnel collapse (Times of Israel)

9) The Daily Freier Movie: American Oleh trapped in Ulpan Gordon for 7 Years

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Hezbollah TV airs the Daily Freier movie but renames it “That Idiot Jew”

Daily Freier Hezbollha TV That Idiot JewBy Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 9/22/2017 at 11:50 AM

South Beirut: The Daily Freier has received some unsolicited and somewhat unwanted publicity lately. Hezbollah, an organization that lately has seemed better at killing Sunni Muslims than it is at killing Israelis, has its very own television station called “Al-Manar”. And Al-Manar just aired the Daily Freier Movie, only they shortened the title from “American Oleh trapped in Ulpan Gordon for Seven Years” to “That Idiot Jew“. The Daily Freier tried to call Sheikh Nasrallah for an interview, but he’s scared the Mossad would trace the call. So we settled for Hussein, a production assistant at Al-Manar TV.

We really felt this was a story for the whole family.” explained Hussein. “Mothers, fathers, children, grandparents…. they can all sit together in the evening and enjoy the story of this walid majnoon named Jeff.

Yet it was not only Al-Manar that loved the show, but also the average man and woman on the street. The Daily Freier asked one of our friends at Reuters to wander South Beirut and ask random people how they feel about the Daily Freier movie.

That ridiculous Jew named Jeff! He is so stupid!” chuckled a barrel-chested guy with a mustache named Jaffar. “I will keep tuning in to see if he learns future tense verbs. But I doubt this will happen.”

I really loved the show! He is such a fool!” exclaimed Fatima. She then quickly looked around to make sure nobody was listening and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I know it’s Haram… but I find ‘Jeff’ strangely attractive.

Word of Al-Manar’s airing of “That Idiot Jew” has even moved beyond Lebanon and is now enjoying popularity abroad. Famed singer/songwriter/activist/dick Roger Waters was quite excited about the new show. “Finally! a show that really has a message!” Roger exclaimed.

While Al-Manar has enjoyed significant success with their new show, it has not come without protest from the Daily Freier itself. Our editor Yuval Weiss shared his anger during an interview with CNN earlier today.


Yuval: What Hezbollah Television did was illegal! It was immoral! and we are not going to…..

CNN: We have just learned that your website has 500,000 unique hits today alone. Additionally, a Muslim Dating Site wants to purchase a 2 month block of advertising on the Daily Freier. How does this…

Yuval: On second thought, we all must try to show greater empathy. We reluctantly accept Hezbollah’s actions in the name of cultural sensitivity.


In another piece of good news, after watching Hezbollah TV’s version of our movie, The New Israel Fund just offered us a 50,000 Shekel grant.