(NOTE: This is word-for-word Marwan Bargouti’s Op-Ed in the New York Times. Words eliminated are struck through. Words added are in Bold Italics.)
HADARIM PRISON, Israel Corcoran Prison, California— Having spent the last 15 47 years in an Israeli Amerikan prison, I have been both a witness to and a victim of Israel’s Amerika’s illegal system of mass arbitrary arrests and ill-treatment of Palestinian prisoners the people, man. The people. After exhausting all other options, I decided there was no choice but to resist these abuses by going on a hunger strike.
(The Daily Freier wrote this on Israellycool today. Go check out the whole story and their site!)
Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of whether you are reading Peter Beinart’s latest impassioned critique of the Jewish State or Taylor Swift’s latest breakup song. Like, it’s an honest mistake. One of them is moody, self-absorbed, and uses the pen to lash out at perceived betrayals when a relationship ends…… And the other one used to date a Jonas Brother. But anyhoo, we thought we would quiz the loyal readers of Israellycool. Good luck!
(The Daily Freier wrote this on Israellycool. Go check it out and take the Quiz!)
By Yuval Weiss
Last Updated 2/27/2017 at 12:30 PM
Washington: With the Trump Administration’s controversial new Middle Eastern policy of not being Iran’s bitch renewed skepticism toward traditional adversaries and not telling allies where their nation’s capital is, critics fear that if things don’t change quickly, the region may face a renewed outbreak of Thomas Friedman.
(The Daily Freier is over on Israellycool today. Check us Out!)
Scene: Hebron, 1800 B.C.E
Abraham: Oy vey ist mir! My beloved Sarah has died! Efron the Hittite, please let me bury my wife here.
Efron the Hittite: Fine, fine. Pick a cave. Mi cave es su cave.
Abraham: Efron, you are a real tzadik. But let me drop some shekels on you. How does 400 silver sound?
Efron: plus VAT?
Abraham: Yeah sure, plus VAT. Also, maybe we could cut a deal on recurring maintenance and….
(A stranger approaches)
Abraham: Can we help you?
Stranger: So that’s it? You think you can justify the Occupation with a few shekels?
Abraham: Sorry, but who the hell are you?
Stranger: I am Peter the Beinart. And you need to check your privilege.
(THE FREIER GUEST WROTE THIS STORY OVER ON ISRAELLYCOOL. CHECK IT OUT!)
By Aaron Pomerantz and Yuval Weiss
Last Updated 11/15/2016 at 1:00 PM
Tel Aviv, Dizengoff: Peter Beinart, the conscience of modern Progressive Judaism and all around Liberal Zionist Bad Boy, is not too thrilled with the choices that Israel has been making lately. And he’s not afraid to tell us. In fact, Pete is currently quite cross with us for ignoring his amazingly prescient advice about the Peace Process, to the extent that he now takes press junkets to Judea and Samaria with J-Street in order to pester goats. His powerful voice has hit Israel like a bombshell, compelling everyday Israelis to stop what they’re doing and ask themselves “Just who does Peter Beinart think he is? No, Really. We’re kinda drawing a blank right now. Who is he again?”
(The Daily Freier Appears on Israellycool Today! Stop by and Check it Out!)
Washington: Top Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abdedin is in a bit of a pickle lately after leaked emails reveal that she had some not-so-nice things to say about the American Israel Public Affairs Council (AIPAC). Ms. Abedin, the brilliant Washington insider who married and had a child with the underwear selfie artist formerly known as Anthony Weiner AKA “Carlos Danger”, referred to AIPAC as “that crowd“.
(THE DAILY FREIER APPEARS ON ISRAELLYCOOL TODAY! CHECK IT OUT HERE!)
[SCENE: A California Beach]
Pretty Girl: Hi! My name is Ally!
Young Man: Hi my name is Daniel. But my friends call me Barry. I’m from Hawaii.
Ally: That is so cool!
Daniel: Yes. Yes it is. Say, who is that large angry guy walking over?
Ally: OMG, that’s my ex, Johnny Khameini. He’s in that Karate Gang called Cobrazbullah Kai. I hate him.
(The Daily Freier is published over at Israellcool today. Check the whole article out here!)