Category: Israellycool

Play George Galloway/Ken Livingstone Bingo!

With the upcoming Liverpool stage show of George Galloway and Red Ken Livingstone, we at Israellycool and the Daily Freier are positively giddy with anticipation. But what kind of drinking game will we play, you ask? Well fear not, for we have the “Gorgeous George/Red Ken Bingo” game! How do you play? First, pour yourself a stiff drink. Gather four friends. Then print out the cards below. Then drink again. Then start watching George and Ken talk shop! Then drink again. And start marking off your boxes. And drink again. Whoever gets 5 in a row first, Wins!

WARNING: If Ken and George start making sense, you need to stop drinking.

Have Fun!

(Here’s one of your Bingo Cards. Get the rest over at Israellycool today!)

Advertisements

Obama wins 2nd Nobel Prize for creating the Israeli-Saudi alliance

Oslo: The International Community is positively giddy with the news that Former President Barack Obama is to receive his SECOND Nobel Peace Prize! Nobel Committee spokesperson Lars Olaf addressed the assembled news media earlier today.

The Nobel Committee is proud to award this year’s prize to Barack Obama for his steadfast work uniting former enemies in the belief that his policies posed a clear and present danger to their respective nations. Mr. Obama’s Iran Policy has managed to bring Israel into a de-facto alliance with Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and the United Arab Emirates. Ten years ago, this would be unthinkable!

The electrified crowd burst into applause when Mr. Obama strode into the room to accept his prize. “Please excuse my lateness, I was leading from behind…Then again, we are the one we’ve been waiting for.

(The Daily Freier is published over at Israellycool today. Go check it out!)

But Mr. Haniyeh, Why is My Bus Ticket to the March of Return Only One-Way?

Mr. Haniyeh, it is a great honor to join you in the heroic struggle to end the Occupation of Gaza! We will drive the Jews out of Gaza….. Wait. They all left in 2005? But we are still Occupied! Because!

But our struggle is not just about the Occupation. It is about breaking down the Walls that separate Gaza from the World! Wait. We border the largest nation in the Arab World, and they say that we are Brothers!

(The Daily Freier is published on Israellycool today. Check us out!)

 

As a Lefty Jew, How Do I Feel About Farrakhan? Hey Look! A Squirrel!

As a Progressive Jew, Am I Okay with Farrakhan’s speeches where he says that Jews are “Satanic”? Can we change the subject? Because to be honest, I would rather talk about something that doesn’t challenge my worldview. How about right-wing antisemitism? Wouldn’t you rather talk about right-wing antisemitism? That’s much more interesting than Linda Sarsour and Tamika Mallory defending Farrakhan.

(The Daily Freier is published on Israellycool today. Check us out!)

I Don’t Hate Jews, I’m Just anti-Zioni…..Aww Screw It. Go Farrakhan!

Hey there #Woke People! Linda Sarsour and Tamika Mallory here and we are about to drop some knowledge on you! So have a seat and grab a coffee: it’s about to get Intersectional up in here! First off, we are about tired of certain folks out there saying we have a beef with Jews. That is just a Big Lie being pushed by a bunch of Likudniks drinking the Haterade! The real deal? We oppose Israel’s unjust and illegi…… OMG OMG! Is that Louis Farrakhan??? Giant FanGirl moment, know what I’m saying? Do you think we can get a selfie with the Minister? I mean, like, another one.

(The Daily Freier is published over at Israellycool today. Check us out!)

 

The Daily Freier Helps Reem Assil Choose a Mural for Her New Restaurant

From the Office of the Daily Freier

Central Bus Station, 4th Floor

Occupied Yafa, Tel Aviv
The Zionist Entity Israel


Yo Reem!

On behalf of the Daily Freier and Israellycool, congrats on your new restaurant! Not to get too East Bay, but Hella Proud, know what I’m sayin’? Anyhoo, you know what every restaurant needs?

A gigantic pepper shaker? No.

Extra pumpkin spice? No & No.

A big mural of an “Activist” like Rasmea Odeh? Yass Queen!

And if we’re going to ‘normalize struggle’ (Your words!), why stop with Rasmea? Let’s bring in more members of the Resistance! And in the interest of caring, we decided to help you come up with a great idea for a mural!

(The Daily Freier wrote this over on Israellycool. Check out the whole article here!)

Iran Names its Newest Ballistic Missile in Honor of Ben Rhodes

Tehran- The Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps was giddy with anticipation today as they waited for Iran’s Supreme Leader to unveil their newest weapon system to the public. As crowds waited at the bi-weekly “Death to America/Death to Israel Military Parade and Children’s Puppet Show”, the Ayatollah Khameini removed a giant tarp to reveal Iran’s newest missile: the “Ben Rhodes”. Named in honor of the most clever former aspiring novelist to ever serve as a National Security Advisor to Barack Obama, the “Ben Rhodes” is an impressive weapon indeed. The Ayatollah Khameini explained the reasoning behind the name to the press.

(The Freier is on Israellycool today. Check us out!)