Category: Tel Aviv Living

Tel Aviv woman throwing away old clothes accidentally opens “Pop-Up Store”

Pop Up Store Daily FreierBy Emily Goldstein and Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 11/26/2017 at 8:50 PM

Tel Aviv, Bograshov: A Tel Aviv woman had her very own “Start-Up Nation” moment today, and the whole city is talking about it.  Ukrainian Olah Natasha G. was throwing away old clothes when she accidentally opened one of Tel Aviv’s trendy “pop-up stores”, which are stores that, like, pop up in Tel Aviv from time to time. Natasha explains.

“I used to try to sell my stuff at the thrift store near Sheinkin, but I just got tired of the clerks judging me whenever they looked over my clothes…… So anyway, I was putting a handful of clothes on the bench near my house, and this woman just snatched a sweater out of my hand. I was about to scream at her. And then she handed me 20 Shekels. So it was OK…..Welcome to Tel Aviv.

But the story gets weirder. Natasha explains what happens next when two women spied some tank tops and leggings in her bag of discarded clothes. “They said that they really liked the pieces but that first they needed to try them on. And then they both just opened the door to my building and walked right into my Vaad Bayit’s apartment to change. They didn’t even knock. I thought he would yell at me. But for some reason he seemed totally OK with it. He even poured himself a drink.

As we were speaking to Natasha, Alert local Ronit S. interjected to ask what time the store closed because she was on her way to a job interview with a Start-Up near Neve Tzedek, but wanted to stop by when she was finished. She was wearing tan linen business slacks, a cropped vest, and a sports bra.

Finally, 180 Shekels richer, Natasha decided to call it a day and close her shop. “I think I’ll take a walk up to the Old North. The stuff people put on park benches up there are nicer than the clothes I actually own.

 

 

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Tel Aviv Startup designs Bike that’s too shitty to steal

Tel Aviv Startup designs Bike that's too shitty to steal Daily FreierBy Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 8/26/2017 at 6:10 PM

Tel Aviv, Ibn Gavriol: Startup Nation does it again! A new company has done the impossible: designing, testing, and marketing a bicycle designed especially for the Tel Aviv market. Specifically, they built a bike that’s “too shitty to steal”.  You see, here in Tel Aviv you can keep your bike outside for as long as 20 minutes and still have a good chance of seeing it again when you come back.  Not surprisingly, the new bike, named the Bal-a-Gan, is flying off the shelves.  The Daily Freier stopped by to talk to the development team and some of their happy customers to find out more about the buzz.

When we arrived, none other than the Daily Freier’s very own Mark Levy greeted us. “This is my seventh start-up so far in Israel, so I’m kind of hoping this one works out. But some of my previous start-ups really paved the way for the Bal-a-Gan, especially the App that allowed you to plan the time and location when your bike gets stolen. Mark then went on to explain the unique marketing factors that made the Bal-a-Gan possible. “I guess the biggest factor that created a niche for us is that the police seem to devote just as much resources to combating bike theft as they do for investigating the Binary Options Industry. So we really lucked out.

The Daily Freier then had the chance to speak to a new owner of a Bal-a-Gan. “OMG this bike SUCKS! This is just the best!” exclaimed happy owner Sarah D. Confident that she now owned a bike too crappy to steal, Sarah rode it to the Central Bus Station, left it unattended, and went inside. A man quickly approached the bicycle with bolt cutters, looked at it for a moment, and turned away.”This bike is an insult to my craft.” he noted disgustedly. Then he went back and removed the seat “just on principle.”

 

UPDATE: Tel Aviv women LOVED our story comparing their exes to city buses. Men? Not so much.

Tel Aviv women buses guys Daily FreierBy Emily Goldstein

Last Updated 8/19/2017 at 12:30 PM

Tel Aviv, Central Bus Station: So last month the Daily Freier basically just sat in the corner with pen and paper while a couple of women talked. and talked. and talked .…published a story based on the observations of several Tel Aviv women and how their exes compare to the city’s bus lines. And the story received literally hundreds of likes and shares! And as many as four of them were from men! So yeah, there was a bit of a gender imbalance as to who, like, LOVED LOVED LOVED the story…. and who did not. Ladies of Tel Aviv, it appears you had a lot on your mind.

Daily Freier guest writer Mia Deych started off. “Bus 172. He takes you very close to Gordon beach. Like Ben Yehuda close. He stays out late on Fridays, but then he goes to Holon. Yeah, he hangs out in Tel Aviv all the time, but…. he lives in Holon. Still better than Lod or Ashkelon.

Next was local woman ‘Rose’ . “LMAO! love it! so true! the 189… the hot startup guy that thinks he’s too smart for you. But he’ll reluctantly take you around on his new shiny hoverboard.

Then there’s the 126. “Never quite sure if he’s right for you. Are your goals aligned? Or will he forget to turn and suddenly you’re stuck on the other side of the Yarkon?

It was at this point that one local man chimed in on Secret Tel Aviv. “Obviously these girls are dating the wrong guys.“…..Aaaaaand that worked out for him about as well as you think it did.

Tel Avivian ‘Amanda’ described the #5 Sherut.It’s the one that is always there, but you never fully appreciate. He’s your back up plan when other options fail, and always seems to be around when you need him. Even on Shabbat. You will never seriously date the 5… but tell him that whoever does ‘is seriously the luckiest girl.’” Ouch.

Some buses are quite the opposite. Natalie clued us in.  “The 10 to Jaffa: the one who plays seriously hard to get.

Some of you have just opted out of all the drama. “That’s why I walk.” noted Elizabeth.

And then we got to the French girls. HaTzarfatiot:  ‘Radioo’, ‘Musidora’, ‘Sarah’, ‘Jess’, and ‘Audrey’. shared their ideas with the group. We don’t really understand French, but their comments looked so cool! Like this one!

Nous on aime juste l’idée que nos ex finissent sous un bus.

We were just positive that they said something hot and exotic…. Then we translated it:

We just love the idea that our exes end up under a bus.”

OMG.

 

Tel Aviv women compare the city’s bus lines to their ex-boyfriends

Tel Aviv women buses guys Daily FreierBy Emily Goldstein

Last Updated 7/21/2017 at 5:30 PM

Tel Aviv, Dizengoff: Recently a group of Tel Aviv women made a dramatic discovery: the city’s various bus routes bore far more than a passing resemblance to their experiences with Tel Aviv men…. past, present, and future. Some are fast. Some are slow. Some are reliable. Some will take you places you’ve never been. Some never show up. The Daily Freier stopped in for a nice girl chat and some serious dishing over drinks.

Aurelia started off. “Some buses are amazing but fickle.” she explained. “The Number 13? Promises to take you from Allenby to Tel Aviv University in less than twenty minutes? Yeah, he’s the best…. when he shows up. He’s the hot guy you really like who one day totally up and left for Europe without telling you. But he’s totally passionate and you really did feel a connection. So, yeah.  If you catch him while he’s in town he’s totally down for a booty call.

But not all the buses are that exciting or frustrating.  Rachel explained  “So then there’s the 25 Route. Reliable. Takes it slow… On time…. Lame. He’s the Beta that you friend-zoned. I mean I guess you could take him home. But he’s boring a-f.

Of course some buses are reliable AND exciting. Aurelia broke it down for us. “The 289? Adventurous. It goes north AND south. He goes EVERYWHERE. I mean the 289 is just an all around catch… like you’ll probably go traveling together and shit.

Rachel thought for a moment. “Remember that guy you kinda liked but not liked-liked? He’s the 125. You know, the one you didn’t mean to go so far with, but ended up all the way down…. South.” Rachel quickly clarified her statement. “I meant like Yafo.

Then there are the…. unorthodox routes. Arielle explained. “The 66? He’s the guy everyone’s been with. Kinda skanky. Lives with his parents in Ramat Gan. Not bad….but not good either.

When asked if Sheruts factor into the equation, Arielle was quick to note the 4א Route. “Remember him? You met him like ONCE at a party two years ago. Seemed cool. Then he ghosted you. Never. Saw him. Again.

 

Noah returns in new Ark to save us from the Heatwave

Noah's Ark Daily Freier(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Lee Saunders

Last Updated 7/5/2017 at 2:30 PM

Tel Aviv: With the mercury in Tel Aviv matching the temperature on Mars, biblical hero Noah has returned to Eretz Yisrael to save locals from the unbearable heatwave.

Today, hoards of confused and melting Tel Avivians were oddly seen rushing INTO the Dizengoff Center Mall AND the Post Office just to get OUT of the heat. Once roads began to crumple and people were being thrown out of the chiller cabinets in Shufersal, the 4700-year-old pensioner decided to act.

Noah and his oldest remaining son, Shem (a mere 4200 years young) have fitted the Convertible Ark Turbo Cruise ship with 2 air conditioning units in each compartment, phone chargers, the Waze GPS Iceberg Locator, and driverless technology.

My hands are still tied by the Torah so I can still only take two of everything – so 2 Israelis (rumors say Gal Gadot has already bagged one spot), 2 stray cats, 2 non-complaining olim, 2 mosquitoes, 2 jellyfish, 2 European backpackers, and 2 girls on Taglit who just love love love Israel. No politicians or HOT Cable customer service representatives are allowed.”

Cabin prices start at NIS 5,000 for a  double. But long lines are expected all the way to Haifa as The Ark, called “Mazgan Miracle II“, is due to set sail tomorrow for Scotland, arriving at its first port in Cardiff before Shabbos.

Tel Aviv man with filthy car now pretending he just got back from Midburn

Guy with filthy car now pretending he just got back from MidburnBy Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 6/6/2017 at 7:15 PM

Tel Aviv, Maze: So the guy down the street with the filthy car has now come up with an ingenious plan that does not involve actually cleaning his car: subtly letting people think that he just got back from Midburn down in the Negev. Midburn, the Israeli version of Burning Man, ended last Friday. And Midburners are pretty excited about…. TELLING YOU THAT THEY WENT TO MIDBURN.  So everyone who was there is currently telling their friends, relatives, lovers, ex-lovers, supermarket cashiers, cab drivers, former roommates…. basically they are telling EVERYBODY that they just got back from Midburn. And one of the coolest ways to tell people you went to Midburn without actually telling them is to drive around town in your dust-covered vehicle, fresh from the desert.

So the guy down the street? You knew something was up when he started walking to and from his car carrying an umbrella, hula hoops, and light sticks. Also he is suddenly wearing cowboy chaps and a hat made of feathers. And what’s up with the sun goggles? It’s all rather Mad Max Thunderdome. Yet it appears to be working, as he is currently leaning against his car and chatting up two lovely Dutch tourists who seem to be totally buying this סיפור משוגע.

This is crap. It’s like he is just making up sentences using random words like “facepainting, dreadlocks, swing-set, amazing DJ from Luxembourg, sunrise, shaman, hydrating, sense of community, moccasins, and unicycle.” And once again, the biggest insult is that it appears to be working. Not only are the beautiful Dutch guests impressed, but a hand-painted VW van just drove by, honked, and gave him the thumbs up.

Well played, fake Midburner. Well played.

(DISCLAIMER: We just found this car while walking around and made it part of our story. If this is your car, we meant no harm. And for 50 Shekels plus a beer, we will wash it for you.)

 

 

Scientists baffled as Tel Aviv now 100% covered in spliff smoke, but “everybody’s out of weed”

Daily Freier Tel Aviv IsraelBy Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 5/2/2017 at 11:20 AM

Tel Aviv, Kerem HaTeimanim: Israel’s greatest scientific minds are stumped by a strange and disturbing anomaly of the Natural World: the complete and total coverage of the city of Tel Aviv in a haze of smoke from cannabis/tobacco spliffs, despite the fact that everybody in town is “totally out of weed.” The Daily Freier decided to turn to our science advisors, Gideon and Alex from the Technion, for an expert analysis.

What we are looking at is a possibly limitless source of renewable energy.” explained Alex. “If the matter in question, i.e. loosely rolled cigarettes containing a mix of tobacco and cannabis, can simply exist outside of the realm of matter being created or destroyed, then we may be on the cusp of something amazing. It would be like discovering a perpetual motion machine. Only cooler.”

Gideon agreed with Alex, but with an interesting theological twist. “One can be committed to science and reason, yet also believe that our Universe was created with Intelligent Design. Specifically, the concept that spliffs continue to materialize in Tel Aviv despite the universal absence of cannabis begs the question: Is this a modern miracle in the same venue as the miraculous Chanukah oil that lasted 8 Days? Like, Nes Gadol Haya Po?” Gideon was quick to mention that this theory is not confined to the Jewish Community. “I was just speaking to a priest in Jerusalem, and he likened the current state of affairs in Tel Aviv to the Wedding Feast of Cana where Christians believe that Jesus turned water into wine…. Except this must be bamba into cannabis. Or something like that.

When the Daily Freier pressed the scientists for a possible alternate theory, they insisted that their hypothesis would stand up to peer review. “Our data is sound. Something incredible is happening in Tel Aviv….. either that or everyone is just full of crap and secretly hoarding their weed stashes for themselves.