Aspiring Reform Rabbi dropped from HUC after he fails guitar class

Hebrew Union College Daily Freier guitarBy Yekutiel Bornstein

Last Updated 9/24/2017 at 6:00 PM

Jerusalem: Hebrew Union College, the Reform Movement’s theological seminary, has acted quickly to remove an aspiring Rabbi who failed to meet their program’s standards. Adam G. is a native of Chicago who has failed his mandatory Guitar Class, and thus now faces expulsion.

Dean Melissa Levy-McIntosh explained. “Adam simply failed to acclimate to our Institution’s rigorous standards. I mean, he speaks Hebrew fluently, which is great, I guess. But his guitar work was simply atrocious.” The Daily Freier challenged Dean Levy-McIntosh but she was adamant. “We gave Adam plenty of chances. We even supplied a tutor. And when his instructor informed me that Adam had not yet advanced past “Bim Bam”, I decided to sit in on a class just to make sure. Let me tell you, that was the worst “Shalom Rav” I have ever heard. Also, during the break I saw him approach a classmate and ask who Debbie Friedman was.

Hebrew Union College has urged Adam to re-apply for the Autumn 2018 Class provided he goes hiking in the Berkshires and maybe takes some tambourine lessons.

 

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2 thoughts on “Aspiring Reform Rabbi dropped from HUC after he fails guitar class”

  1. There are a lot of great rabbis who don’t play the guitar, just as there are a lot of great cantors who don’t give great sermons. Vive la difference!

    Liked by 1 person

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