Tag: Bruno

“Guys! let’s write a fake story about a Spanish Gay Porn Star who joins the German Spy Agency, secretly converts to Islam, self-radicalizes, and gets busted in a Jihadist chat room plotting an insider attack!”


SCENE: The Daily Freier Newsroom. Morning Staff Meeting

Yuval Weiss, Editor: OK people! It’s a slow news day. We need to make something up.  Maybe we can write something about a guy joining the German Intelligence Agency.

Lee Saunders: OK, but the guy is actually of Spanish descent.

Yuval: Good! Next!

Mia Deych: Can he be gay?

Yuval: Yes! Next!

Aaron Pomerantz: OK, but he’s also active in the gay adult film industry until 2011.

Yuval: Not only is that idea in the story, that idea is DEFINITELY in the story! Next!

Yekutiel Bornstein: But now he’s on the DL. Like married with 4 kids.

Yuval: Brilliant! Next!

Emily Goldstein: But then he secretly converts to Islam in 2014!

Yuval! Perfect! Now THIS is brainstorming!

Mark Levy: And then he self-radicalizes!

Yuval: I’m feeling it! Next!

Lee: But then he applies to work in the German Intelligence Service and is accepted!

Yuval: Amazing! Keep it going! Next!

Aaron: And let’s make him 51 years old. You know, Like Bono except much younger!

Yuval: Yes! We have the momentum! Next!

Mia: Then he starts frequenting Jihadi Internet Chat Rooms!

Yuval!: Money! Next!

Emily: Can we make it so that he’s not that smart? Like he says in the chat room that he’s a German Intelligence agent of Spanish descent?

Yuval: Yes! And in the Jihadi chat room, his alias is the same as his Gay Porn Name! Next!

Yekutiel: So in the chat room he offers to facilitate access to the spy agency’s headquarters in Cologne! And then… what’s wrong?

Yuval: (Checking his I-Phone) F–K! This actually just happened! This has never happened before in the history of satire. I mean, it’s not like any of our crazy stories ever come true in real life or anything!