Month: January 2026

Israellycool

Qatar’s Emir Takes Brief Break From Using Tucker Carlson as Hand Puppet

Doha: In a move described by Gulf Insiders as World-Class Gamesmanship and 3-D Chess, Qatar’s Emir Tamim bin Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani pulled his hand out of Tucker Carlson‘s butt for 5 minutes this morning. “This sort of work is exhausting.” explained a Palace Insider on condition of anonymity.  “Think of this as a ‘Self Care’ regimen for Royalty….everybody needs a break sometimes.”

Qatar’s relationship with Tucker Carlson has been described by some critics as “more puppetry than that Being John Malkovich movie.” Yet Mr. Carlson has taken this criticism in stride.  In fact, he generously joined the Daily Freier for a video chat from his Doha hotel room. “Some people say that I’m an Opportunist. But Fox News fired me in 2023, and my fishing lodge is not going to pay for itself.” Tucker Carlson paused for a moment and stared into the distance. “Strangely enough, that’s about the time I decided I don’t like Israel anymore. Crazy, huh?”

(We published this story on Israellycool today. Go check out the entire story here!)

 

"The Squad", Hamas

IDF Finds Hamas Tunnel Under Ilhan Omar’s Gaza Daycare Center
“Some People Leared Something”

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 2 January 2026 at 2:35 PM

Rafah: Combat Engineers working in concert with elements of the Golani Brigade announced the discovery of a Hamas Tunnel under the City’s “Quality Learing Center“. The Daycare Center is part of a franchise operated by Representative Ilhan Omar (Democrat-Mogadishu) that receives funding from the State of Minnesota and has been open since 2021. The Daily Freier reported from today’s IDF Conference about the discovery.

“Our troops were forced to move slowly, as we overestimated the number of Hamas terrorists in the tunnels.”  explained IDF Spokesman Captain Ron C. “You see, our Intelligence Unit counted both Ilhan Omar’s ‘husbands’ and ‘brothers’ without understanding that there’s a bit of overlap. But the lack of any actual kids in the Daycare Center made the operation easier.”

Representative Omar reacted swiftly to the accusations, writing on Twitter “Israel has hypnotized the world, may Allah awaken the people and help them see the evil doings of Israel.” (Haha! Just kidding! But not really!)

For his part, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz blamed the political fallout over the tunnels on “White Supremacy.” (Haha, just kidding again! But not really!)

Music fans were relieved to learn that famed musician/activist/dick Roger Waters emerged unhurt from the tunnel.