Month: June 2026

Top Ten Things That Lasted Longer Than The Ceasefire With Iran

1) Bank Leumi teller’s smoke break when they call your number.

2) The time it takes to get out of Dizengoff Center.

3) Time elapsed since Ben Gvir last suggested said stupid or illegal.

4) The applause on an El Al flight as it lands.

5) How long I must work to afford one beer in Tel Aviv.

6) Taglit Bro describing Israeli breakfast to his friend back home.

7) Sara Netanyahu telling The Help about her academic degrees.

8) Sem Girl giving another Sem Girl directions to the Shuk.

9) The time it takes to translate what the lifeguard at Banana Beach just announced into modern Hebrew.

10) Sarah Tuttle-Singer’s taxi driver provides unsolicited advice to Taylor & Travis for a long marriage.

 

 

 

 


* Our Guest Writer Lee Saunders deigned to show up from England long enough to contribute to this article.

Graham Platner’s Top Ten Spiciest Sexts

1. Gonna smash you like Kristallnacht tonight.

2. Get ready for the Battle of my Bulge.

3. Wanna come to my place and listen to some Wagner?

4. Take off my Lederhosen. Slowly.

5. Your Love is making me crazier than Rudolph Hess.

6. I wanna Hotchkiss you all over. Til the night closes in.

7. Touch my Messerschmidt. 

8. Your panties will fall faster than France in 1940. 

9. What do you think about Porta-Potties?

10. Ever fantasize about a Maoist Jew-hating Trustafarian?