By Aaron Pomerantz
Last Updated 8/8/2016 at 12:10 PM
Tel Aviv, Sourasky Medical Center: A local man suffered a brush with death yesterday, but fortunately lived to tell about it. Afshin, an Israeli of Persian heritage who grew up in Los Angeles, was rushed to the hospital after performing several minutes of housework that went horribly wrong. Afshin explained his personal trauma to the Daily Freier in the Ichilov Hospital cafeteria while taking a break from the constant procession of random cousins who stopped in to make sure he was OK and had enough to eat.
“So I was staying at my Aunt and Uncle’s house in Givatayim. And everyone was out of the house shopping I guess. And I was hungry. I sat in the living room for like an hour and no food showed up. So I decided to go into that mysterious room that my mom, aunts, grandmother, and sisters go to when they bring out food. I think it’s called…..the……the………”
The Daily Freier interjected. “The ‘kitchen’?”
“Yeah, that’s it. ‘The kitchen.’ Anyway, I went to ‘the kitchen’ to find some food. I couldn’t find much. Just six chelo kebabs, chopped salad, hummus, some soup, pita, olives, and a bowl of couscous. You know, a snack…. So when I was finished I decided that, what the heck, I would like ‘wash‘ the ‘dishes‘ I used.” Afshin paused and stared out the window into the distance. “Yeah. I know, I know. What the hell was I thinking?”
Afshin continued to describe the dramatic events. “So I run the glass under really hot water. To make it clean. But I guess glass doesn’t like to be under really hot water sometimes. And it like exploded. So my hands are all cut up. I ran outside and managed to get a taxi to the hospital…… And here I am.”
The Daily Freier asked Afshin if he learned any lessons from his personal journey. “Yeah. I am NEVER EVER going in the kitchen ever again. Like….EVER.“