By Yuval Weiss
Last Updated 7/24/2023 at 11:00 PM
Washington: Israel-American relations are in deep crisis today with news that President Biden made explicit threats to Prime Minister Netanyahu: either call off judicial reforms or Thomas Friedman will continue writing his Opinion pieces about the situation. Mr. Friedman, famous pundit and taxi cab whisperer, has written a series of increasingly bizarre columns about the situation in Israel. Sources close to the White House were able to provide a partial transcript of the tense phone call.
Bibi: Hello?
Biden: Hey Bibi man, you gotta call off this Malarkey. This…. Come on, man.
(20 Second of Silence)
Bibi: What’s going on?
Biden: You want another Thomas Friedman Op-Ed? Because this is how you get another Thomas Friedman Op-Ed.
Bibi: Joe, be reasonable.
Biden: Corn Pop was a Bad Dude. But if you don’t back off this court stuff, we’re giving the Green Light to Friedman. Two Op-Eds a week, baby. We’re going to pay for all of his taxi rides for the next month. How do you like them, umm, what do you call them… them apples?
News of Biden’s hard line tactics shocked Washington insiders, who noted that Biden and Netanyahu have 40 years of history together. Yet Israelis were just as equally shocked at the news. Ramat Gan housewife Orit C. shared her views on the development while she waited on line with her kids at the Tel Aviv Namal McDonalds.
“Friedman’s dumb articles haunt me.” Orit explained. “It’s like he’s a ghost. A Scary Boomer Ghost. Who won’t leave.“
For his part, Mr. Friedman was rather sanguine about these developments. “Bibi is playing Sheish Beish, but the protesters are watching Seinfeld. If King David learned to Code, then Arafat and Shimon Peres could have opened a Start-Up. If the Saudis run out of oil before Mark Zuckerberg fixes Facebook, then Elon Musk should have studied Farsi. To understand the Arab Street, you first must understand how The Smurfs changed Cairo in the 1980’s. Please, somebody stop me.”
As the story went to print, the Israeli public breathed a sigh of relief upon news that Friedman is currently busy writing a Think Piece about Bollywood, Al Gore, and Kabballah.
This always cracks me up, *Basement Biden* is out of his cotton picking mind 🤯🤯
Biden: Hey Bibi man, you gotta call off this Malarkey. This…. Come on, man . . . 😝 😜
Absurd to think that translations duplicate the original. The opening 6 letter word of the Torah – בראשית this word holds words within words. This trait known as a רמז in Hebrew. ברית אש\brit fire; ראש בית\Head of House ב’ ראשית\Two Beginnings. Beside the טיפש פשט\bird brained common translation of “In the Beginning”.
Sophomoric undergraduate scholarship hangs like Saddam Hussein’s head, upon the hangman’s rope of translations. But translations do not define abstract terms. The טיפש פשט which translates ברית as covenant. Beyond incompetently stupid. The term brit refers to a sworn oath. To swear a brit oath requires the Name revealed in the opening Sinai Torah revelation commandment. The Xtian bible never once writes the Name revealed in the first Sinai commandment. Worse still, it duplicates the Sin of the Golden Calf!
Aaron translated the Spirit Name revealed in the 1st Sinai commandment to the word אלהים\Gods. The Torah speaks in the language of Man. The language: Golden Calf, only a metaphor. Just as dreams require interpretation so too the Torah visions organized into word-metaphors.
The Spirit as expressed by the revelation of the Name as found in the 1st Sinai commandment – not a word. Lips pronounce words but cannot declare Spirits. The perversion of the Spirit Name to a common word – easily pronounced by the lips of Man – the interpretation of the word-metaphor “Golden Calf”. Knowledge how to pronounce the Name requires a Torah mitzva/midda precedent. This idea known as מידה כנגד מידה or measure for measure. The Church declaration “not under the law” fails to distinguish Torah common law from Roman statute law. A fundamental error, which Xtianity Universally has never grasped. Torah common law stands upon the foundation of comparable case/rule precedents, learned from Primary sources of equal authority.
The church has denied the Oral Torah common law legal system which interprets the Written Torah by means of Oral Torah logic; which compares Torah commandments as similar Case/Rule legal precedents with the aim to comprehend the intent of the Torah language itself. This Oral Torah logic system completely and totally different than the logic formats developed by the ancient Greek philosophers: Plato and Aristotle. This fundamental error, Xtian scholars likewise Universally failed to comprehend.
Convenant cannot mean brit b/c the latter constitutes as a formal oath sworn alliance. To cut a Torah brit requires the Name combined with מלכות. This term, Goyim mistranslate as “kingship”. What proves that the translation of kingship as a false translation of מלכות? To swear an oath by way of making a formal blessing requires both Name and מלכות. Yet the “blessing of the Cohonim”, the mitzva known as “kre’a shma” and the Shemone Esrei all lack the word “king”. Therefore מלכות does not translate unto the word “king”, but rather the dedication as holy of tohor middot. Middot interpreted as different spirits which enter the soul. The metaphor of the soul compares to a open window which permits breezes to pass from the outside to within the house itself.
Swearing a Torah oath by means of a blessing, stands separate and apart from saying verses from the Book of Tehillem/Psalms. The latter does not swear a Torah oath by which to cut a brit “alliance”. All generations of Xtian scholarship has Universally failed to catch their gross sophomoric errors wherein their believers trust in inferior and utterly mediocre translations which pervert the intent of the Hebrew/Aramaic T’NaCH. An equivalence error, on par with the Xtian replacement theology which attempts to supersede their new testament counterfeit, with the Hebrew T’NaCH: with their new and old testaments avoda zarah. The latter term defines the 2nd Sinai commandment and Xtian sophomoric scholarship mistranslates as “idolatry”.
Sir this is a Wendy’s.
What’s a Wendy’s, a square hamburger?
OK 🙂