Top Ten Sketchy Things your Israeli Tour Guide will say to you



1. She wants to show you the Wilderness of Zin.

2. OK, who wants to go down to the Kishon Gap?

3. They still need to see Warren’s Shaft.

4. This is where Jesus descended on his ass.

5. (really anything with the word “Qumran”)

6. Anyone want to hear the story of how Elijah went to Mount Carmel?

7.  Sorry, but I’m still inside Apollonia.

8. Vespasian had over a hundred catapults, so he could really get his rocks off.

9. We can always take the Spice Route.

10. And that’s how they found the back entrance to Hezekiah’s Tunnel.

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