By Aaron Pomerantz
Last Updated 3/21/2017 at 9:10 PM
Tel Aviv, Yirmiyahu: The dogs in your neighborhood have a new guy assigned to walk them, and quite frankly they’re not sure if he’s up for the job. The pack of dog had grown accustomed to being picked up by their long time walker Assaf, only to learn that he has just moved to Berlin “for 6 months to get my finances together“. And Assaf’s replacement, some guy named Eytan, may not have what it takes. The Daily Freier sat down with the dogs while they waited outside of the Super Yuda while Eytan bought Bamba and cigarettes.
“Listen. We’ve known each other a long time.” explained Rocky, a Labrador Retriever. “Went to gan together. Joined the army together. Backpacked in Nepal together. And it’s hard for somebody new to break into our group. But Assaf was just a really chill guy. He really understood us. Also, he was constantly high. So I guess that helped.”
“I don’t think this Eytan character can handle all of our personalities.” added Shimon, a beagle mix. “Bat Sheva, the Maltese over there is Baal Tshuva and likes to go to the new religious section of the dog beach by the Hilton. Rocky always wants to go to the meetup for vegan dogs at Gan Meir. (Editor’s Note: How can you tell if you’ve met a vegan dog? Don’t worry. They will tell you.). And Benny the wolfhound over there keeps wanting to go to this one bar on Ben Yehuda ‘to see this girl’ he met. So I have my doubts. I just don’t think this new guy is going to make it.
As Eytan returned from the store, he announced that he was taking all of them to that dog washery called Doggy Style (And yes. That’s their real name.Welcome to Tel Aviv.) down the street for a shampoo. Maybe this new guy will be OK after all.