(Photo Credit: Vandelay Industries)

By The Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 10/14//2015 at 12:30 PM

Tel Aviv, Kerem HaTeimanim: In a hastily called emergency session, the Tel Aviv Municipal Council of Guys opted to respond to the current security situation by naming “Let me Walk You Home, It’s Dangerous” as the city’s top cheesy pickup line. Spokesperson Tal H. explained the change at a press conference following the meeting. “In peacetime, it’s perfectly alright  to say ‘Come up for a cup of coffee‘ or ‘I know the best hummus place‘, but these are difficult times.” In addition, Tal urged members of the Council to utilize the following banter while running game: “You can feel the tension in the air. Maybe it’s time we go home”, or “Let’s stay in tonight. It’s dangerous“. Tal conceded that “I was in the IDF” is still an acceptable line, but only on or around Birthright tours.

The new campaign, while promising, has seen decidedly mixed results, with a posting by one “Tal H.” to the popular forum Secret Tel Aviv asking the following question: “What is the easiest way to get pepper spray out of your chest hair? Asking for a friend.”