(Photo Credit: Our Friends at The Palestinian Branch of the Muslim Brotherhood)

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 11/5/2015 at 12:30 PM

Gaza City: Flush from the success of his copycat rendition of Eyal Golan’s hit song ‘Mi she’maamin lo mifahed’, Hamas artist Ismail C. is excited to start getting all the trappings of a new rock star.  Ismail’s knock-off version, titled “Soldiers of God“, is doing quite well in Gaza and beyond, causing Ismail’s mind to wander to bigger and better things.  Ismail explained his motivation; “I want to be as big as Eyal. I want to live as large as he does. He’s really my idol…..you know, for a perfidious Zionist Jew and stuff.” Ismail continued to describe his aspirations. “I want an entourage, a personal trainer, a reality show called “Hamas Got Talent“, maybe an ongoing rivalry with another artist from Gaza. I hear the Hamas Bumblebee has been talking trash, so maybe we can be rivals.  And of course, we’re gonna need a sex scandal.” Ismail’s eyes widened as he thought of the possibilities “I was at a cafe yesterday and I’m pretty sure that Miss Gaza 2014 was checking me out.  It’s hard to tell because she was covered from head to toe in heavy black cloth, but a guy just knows these kind of things.” Ismail began to construct a mental timeline “So I got the whole Miss Gaza thing on the back burner, but I’m really hoping to start scoring some groupies.” When the Daily Freier asked Ismail how he planned to accomplish this in conservative Gaza City, he quickly replied “Not sure, but my manager and my dad are bringing some girls around from last night’s concert in a half hour.“