(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
By Yuval Weiss
Last Updated 6/20/2016 at 4:40 PM
Tel Aviv, HaKirya: In a true win-win for everyone, Israel responded to a fake accusation of cutting off water to the West Bank during Ramadan by opening the fake dams that Hamas says Israel opens every Spring to flood the Gaza Strip.
The UK Independent wrote an article accusing Israel of cutting off water to Israel based on the testimony of an employee of the Palestinian Authority, who also have some novel concepts of what ingredients go into matzoh. A spokesperson for the Israeli government told The Independent there is “no truth” in the claims, and noted that the shortages were down to faulty water lines, with video provided.
On the other hand, this Spring Gaza’s Hamas rulers blamed floods on Israel opening dams that don’t actually, like, exist and stuff. Upon being corrected, some news outlets retracted the story, including the notorious Zionist outlet Al-Jazeera (Really! They did a good job too!), while others such as AFP were too busy catching up on Game of Thrones or something to fix the mistake.
So it was just amazing when these two make-believe ideas cancelled each other out. Moti C, a spokesperson for the Israeli Water Board, explained the move to the Daily Freier. “We figured we’ve been operating fake dams in Southern Israel for so long, we can afford to divert some fake water to fix a fake cutoff of water supplies. That’s why we’re calling this “Operation Costanza“.
Eddie the Israeli spy vulture could not be reached for comment.