New Moishe House is for the Celiac, Vegan, and Lactose Intolerant Only

New Moishe House is for the Celiac, Vegan, and Lactose Intolerant Only Daily freier

By Mia Deych and Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 9/5/2016 at 11:00 AM

Tel Aviv, Florentin: Moishe House has internalized a series of unjust attacks constructive criticisms stemming from last week’s Crepe Event, where members of the community expressed their concerns with crepes made from…. like, you know….. eggs, milk, and flour.

American Olah Jessica expressed her concerns. “I’m vegan, my best friend is lactose intolerant, and there seems to be a lot of people on Secret Tel Aviv with celiac. I would like to join a community which is inclusive to its members and considers that not everyone is the same. A community that makes each individual feel welcome and unfortunately that didn’t seem to be the case….. So, yeah. I’m kinda excited about the new Moishe House.

Moishe House Spokesperson Aviva S. admitted that nobody in Moishe House is really sure what celiac is [neither does WordPress Spellcheck!], but the Community has a lot to say on this topic.

The New House is located on Ha Rav Frenkel Street in South Tel Aviv. All of the materials in the Apartment have been checked for allergens and gluten, to include couches, kitchen utensils, mazgan, curtains, toilet paper, and the bowl of zucchini on the coffee table that have been there a while that nobody ever eats. Also, the walls are coated with a special paint that blocks the neighbors’ Wi-Fi to prevent radiation.

Everybody in the community appears to love the new Moishe House, with certain exceptions. Urban Farming Activist Sivan noted that nobody asked her for inputs to ensure the kitchen is Cruelty-Free. “I suspect that some of the forks were used at the Barbecue Party on Lag B’Omer last year.”

Also, the Daily Freier spoke with Alert Local Ronit, who was walking her two dogs outside and overheard the conversation. “A vegan, gluten-free, celiac-friendly menu? That sounds like space food for astronauts.

As the new Moishe House prepared its first event this Thursday Evening, Jessica seemed hopeful for the future. “I’m really glad Moishe House let our voices be heard…. I’m just afraid people are going to think we’re like High Maintenance or something.

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