Apparently we are all back in High School, because this week our Frenemies at the Irish Embassy stayed up until Midnight in order to
find our photo in the Yearbook and draw devil horns on our heads and blacken our teeth send a nasty Tweet and then delete it. Yet much like the timeless music of The Corrs, the Internet is Forever and we have screenshots. One would think that Ireland would admire a country that actually managed to completely evict the British, but no. Ireland is upset that Israel is cracking down on all the PFLP-affiliated charities that they fund. They even took the time to complain about that tiny kerfuffle back in 2010 when Israel (Allegedly!) flew to Dubai and knocked off one of their friends in Hamas using tennis rackets, bad wigs, and Irish passports. So this is where our relationship is now.
Yet in the spirit of Goodwill, the Daily Freier set out to get the Irish Government’s side of the story. So we spent the week lurking in their favorite watering holes and BDS Chatrooms in order to get the Top Ten reasons that they angrily drunk tweeted us. Here they are, for your reading pleasure.
1) Gerry Adams keeps tickling us.
2) Daylight Savings Time
3) Was reading “The Merchant of Venice” for the 47th time and dozed off.
4) You always end up hurting the ones you love.
5) You killed Christ.
6) Gal Gadot still won’t return our phone calls.
7) Roger Waters came to us in a dream and instructed us to do this.
8) Yeah, we dream about Roger Waters like twice a week.
10) We’re really busy and don’t want invites to any Chanukah parties.