Last Updated 3/6/2016 at 3:50 PM
Herzliya Pituach- World leaders woke up this morning to the shocking revelation that Israel’s famed Secret Service had crippled Iran’s guided missile program by giving the Iranians the popular and sometimes also accurate navigation App “Waze”. Waze, an Israeli start-up success story that in 2013 was sold to Google for $1 Billion, was secretly uploaded into the Iranian missile guidance database through an unknown Third Party working in coordination with the Mossad. The Daily Freier was able to speak to a shadowy guy named “Tzvi” outside Google’s Herzliya campus.
“This was a difficult assignment. We wanted a program that would spoof the Iranian missile software into calculating the supposedly shortest route, but in reality it sends the projectile on a boondoggle. So I talked to a friend, who talked to a friend, who copied Waze onto their server. Now the navigation system directs the missiles aimed at Tel Aviv to first swing by a Tim Horton’s Doughnut Shop just north of Saskatoon.”
Iran reacted in undisguised panic this morning at the revelation. A Revolutionary Guard Corps Spokesperson, speaking on condition of anonymity, described the chaos. “This is worse than Stuxnet. We’ve lost at least six months. To add insult to injury, we just found out that our Al Quds Force homepage works off of Wix.”
For its part, Waze strongly denied any part in the current crisis. “I must stress that Waze is a useful community-based application that seeks to improve the common good regardless of politics.” explained Waze spokesperson Arielle C. “I got to get back to work. Please excuse me while I direct an IDF patrol to take a shortcut through Nablus.”