Knesset Votes to Draft Haredi, Just as Soon as Tel Aviv’s New Central Bus Station is Completed

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(Photo Credit: Getty Images)

By Yekutiel Bornstein

Last Updated 11/23/2015 at 11:20 PM

Jerusalem:  The Knesset agreed today to begin the conscription of Haredi men, just as soon as the government gets around to knocking down Tel Aviv’s current Central Bus Station, raises the money for a new one, finds a contractor, gets all the necessary permits, and builds the new Central Bus Station.  Reaction throughout the country was mixed, as leaders of  the Yesh Atid and Yisrael Beiteinu Parties complained that Prime Minister Netanyahu went back on one of his promises.  Likud Spokesperson Yonatan F. addressed this point today at a press conference.  “This so-called ‘campaign promise’ raised by Mr. Lieberman and Mr. Bennett should really be viewed like a bowl of hummus in the refrigerator. You know,  It’s got an expiration date.  You can trust it for about a week.  Then….. not so much.” 

The Knesset today was a heated back and forth, as various possible milestones for Haredi conscription were suggested, to include “Just as soon as Abbas holds another Election”, “Just as Soon as Starbucks comes back to Israel”, and ” Right after the Post Office Clears All the Packages It’s Holding at Ben Gurion”.  Likud Spokesperson Yonatan F. explained the logic;  “It’s like walking and chewing gum.  You really don’t want to do too many things at once.”

In a spirit of reconciliation, United Torah Judaism Spokesperson Shmuel C. stated that his party was ready to compromise. “We understand that some members of Knesset are not happy with the agreement drafted today. So we are also ready to accept a draft as soon as the temperature in Gehinnom reaches zero degrees centigrade for a sufficient time period to promote the formation of a layer of ice crystals.

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