Tag: Tel Aviv Central Bus Station

“Is she Shomre Negiyah or does she just think you’re gross?” A guide for the perplexed

The Daily Freier explores Judaism(Photo Credit: The Cornelia Foundation)

By Chava Ewa and Emily Goldstein

Last Updated 12/21/2017 at 1:00 PM

Tel Aviv: It’s the question that so many men are asking today: Is she Shomer Negiya or does she just not want to touch me?” Avi G., an office worker from Givatayim is unwilling to admit that Roni, his new co-worker is simply ‘not into him’.  At all. “She must be some sort of religious fanatic who won’t touch men.” lamented Avi. “I mean, why else would she refuse to give me a hug?

The Daily Freier sat down with Roni at Cafe Aroma for a nice girl chat, and she admitted that although she isn’t actually religious, a bit of Yiddishkeit is actually a good reason to avoid awkward social interactions with creepy male co-workers. “Avi is loud and tells bad jokes and his cologne smells like the inside of Tel Aviv’s central bus station.” she said “He kept inviting me for coffee, but he stopped since I told him that all the coffee shops around here have a bad hecscher. He tries to hug me, so I told him that shomer negiyah is very important to me.” Roni, who now goes by her new Hebrew name “Neshama Emunah Temima“, admits that pretending to be religious has lots of other perks. “I told my boss that I needed the day off for the fast of Asara b’Teves and he agreed…. I don’t think he even knows what the fast of Asara b’Teves is, but you know, it sounds plausible and hey… it’s a day off!

In addition to the workplace, Roni’s status as a sort-ofbaalat teshuva has proven invaluable in other spheres of life as well. “My roommate just got back from India and thinks that she’s a curry expert now… So pretending to keep Kosher is the nicest way to avoid eating her garbage kitchen experiments.” she explained. 

Yet this new life did not come easy. “I took the bus to Jerusalem so I could to meet up with my frum American cousin Esty who is spending the year doing Sem. And I just followed her around for the day so I could copy what she wears and a few key phrases. Now I just pepper my conversation with phrases like Shidduchim, Refuah shelaima…. and a bunch of other things she showed me on A Sem Girl Says!

Epilogue: Roni‘s co-workers have been very supportive of her new religious identity, although Fabricio, a former model and recent Oleh from Spain “with the really cute accent” was disappointed. “She seemed like a fun girl and I wanted to ask her out to the new bracelet bar. But you know…. I think she’s too religious. So instead I went with Maygal the Freicha office temp from Ashdod.


UPDATE: Tel Aviv women LOVED our story comparing their exes to city buses. Men? Not so much.

Tel Aviv women buses guys Daily FreierBy Emily Goldstein

Last Updated 8/19/2017 at 12:30 PM

Tel Aviv, Central Bus Station: So last month the Daily Freier basically just sat in the corner with pen and paper while a couple of women talked. and talked. and talked .…published a story based on the observations of several Tel Aviv women and how their exes compare to the city’s bus lines. And the story received literally hundreds of likes and shares! And as many as four of them were from men! So yeah, there was a bit of a gender imbalance as to who, like, LOVED LOVED LOVED the story…. and who did not. Ladies of Tel Aviv, it appears you had a lot on your mind.

Daily Freier guest writer Mia Deych started off. “Bus 172. He takes you very close to Gordon beach. Like Ben Yehuda close. He stays out late on Fridays, but then he goes to Holon. Yeah, he hangs out in Tel Aviv all the time, but…. he lives in Holon. Still better than Lod or Ashkelon.

Next was local woman ‘Rose’ . “LMAO! love it! so true! the 189… the hot startup guy that thinks he’s too smart for you. But he’ll reluctantly take you around on his new shiny hoverboard.

Then there’s the 126. “Never quite sure if he’s right for you. Are your goals aligned? Or will he forget to turn and suddenly you’re stuck on the other side of the Yarkon?

It was at this point that one local man chimed in on Secret Tel Aviv. “Obviously these girls are dating the wrong guys.“…..Aaaaaand that worked out for him about as well as you think it did.

Tel Avivian ‘Amanda’ described the #5 Sherut.It’s the one that is always there, but you never fully appreciate. He’s your back up plan when other options fail, and always seems to be around when you need him. Even on Shabbat. You will never seriously date the 5… but tell him that whoever does ‘is seriously the luckiest girl.’” Ouch.

Some buses are quite the opposite. Natalie clued us in.  “The 10 to Jaffa: the one who plays seriously hard to get.

Some of you have just opted out of all the drama. “That’s why I walk.” noted Elizabeth.

And then we got to the French girls. HaTzarfatiot:  ‘Radioo’, ‘Musidora’, ‘Sarah’, ‘Jess’, and ‘Audrey’. shared their ideas with the group. We don’t really understand French, but their comments looked so cool! Like this one!

Nous on aime juste l’idée que nos ex finissent sous un bus.

We were just positive that they said something hot and exotic…. Then we translated it:

We just love the idea that our exes end up under a bus.”



New Israel Lotto game asks you to Guess the Street Liquid

By Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 11/26/2016 at 4:30 PM

Tel Aviv, Ben Yehuda: By popular demand, the Israeli Lottery Authority introduced a new game this week, entitled “Guess the Street Liquid“. Each Lotto kiosk now has a puddle of unknown origin on its sidewalk, with local citizens invited to try their luck guessing its contents. Despite the seemingly simple aspects of this game of chance, there are some rules. While Lotto encourages using one’s sense of sight and sense of smell, there is a strict “No Touching” rule. The Daily Freier hung out with the kiosk attendant “Dudu” for about a half hour and watched the citizens of Tel Aviv take a spin with Lady Luck.

First on the scene was Alert local Ronit S., who stopped by the kiosk on her way home from the Shuk and decided to try out this new game of chance. Ronit spent a full minute contemplating the puddle, carefully circling the puddle from right to left and then from left to right before making her guess and filling out the bubbles on the Lottery Card.

So I think this is mazgan runoff. Mixed with mop water. And maybe a dash of pee.”

Next to stop by was Gideon.” Since we are only a few blocks from that arsey club on the corner of Ben Yehuda and Allenby, and seeing as they had a big promotion last night, I’m going with ‘Goldstar, vomit, and bad decisions’. OK, give me a bubble sheet to fill out.

Finally, recent Oleh Zachary decided to place a wager. Zachary took a moment to smell the air around the puddle before placing his eyes at street level to make an expert analysis. “I gotta go with burnt peanut oil, because of the buffet over there.” noted Zachary as he gestured toward the nearby Chinese restaurant. “But there’s just too much funk from sunflower seed husks and body odor. So I gotta say that somebody also spilled that new cologne ‘Tahanah Merkazit’. OK so where do I collect my prize?






Knesset Votes to Draft Haredi, Just as Soon as Tel Aviv’s New Central Bus Station is Completed

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(Photo Credit: Getty Images)

By Yekutiel Bornstein

Last Updated 11/23/2015 at 11:20 PM

Jerusalem:  The Knesset agreed today to begin the conscription of Haredi men, just as soon as the government gets around to knocking down Tel Aviv’s current Central Bus Station, raises the money for a new one, finds a contractor, gets all the necessary permits, and builds the new Central Bus Station.  Reaction throughout the country was mixed, as leaders of  the Yesh Atid and Yisrael Beiteinu Parties complained that Prime Minister Netanyahu went back on one of his promises.  Likud Spokesperson Yonatan F. addressed this point today at a press conference.  “This so-called ‘campaign promise’ raised by Mr. Lieberman and Mr. Bennett should really be viewed like a bowl of hummus in the refrigerator. You know,  It’s got an expiration date.  You can trust it for about a week.  Then….. not so much.” 

The Knesset today was a heated back and forth, as various possible milestones for Haredi conscription were suggested, to include “Just as soon as Abbas holds another Election”, “Just as Soon as Starbucks comes back to Israel”, and ” Right after the Post Office Clears All the Packages It’s Holding at Ben Gurion”.  Likud Spokesperson Yonatan F. explained the logic;  “It’s like walking and chewing gum.  You really don’t want to do too many things at once.”

In a spirit of reconciliation, United Torah Judaism Spokesperson Shmuel C. stated that his party was ready to compromise. “We understand that some members of Knesset are not happy with the agreement drafted today. So we are also ready to accept a draft as soon as the temperature in Gehinnom reaches zero degrees centigrade for a sufficient time period to promote the formation of a layer of ice crystals.

Israel’s Fashion World Turns Out For Gala Launch of the Hot New Cologne: “Tahanah Merkazit”


Photo Credit: Some French Girl

(Models From Left to Right: Shlomo, Shlomo, Shlomo, and Shlomo)

By Emily Goldstein

Last Updated 9/21/2015 at 9:00 PM

Tel Aviv, Opera- It’s literally a “Whose Who” of the Israeli fashion world at tonight’s product launch of the hot new cologne for men: “Tahanah Merkazit”. Tahanah Merkazit is billed as “Summoning up the Sights, the Sounds, the Smells….of Tel Aviv’s Central Bus Station.” With such luminaries as Bar Refaeli and Natalie Portman in attendance, anyone who is anyone does NOT want to miss tonight’s launch. The Daily Freier talked to local Fashion expert Emanuelle H. for her take on the event.

As several sweaty men wearing short sleeve shirts unbuttoned to the navel walked down the fashion runway, Emanuelle explained what she saw. “See how the first model exudes a raw virility as he strides the runway and shows off the musk of ‘Tahanah Merkazit’… Now this model’s name is Shlomo…..Actually, I believe that all of the models are named Shlomo.”

While the ingredients of “Tahanah Merkazit” are a closely guarded trade secret, rumor has it that it is brewed on-site in the basement of the Central Bus Station. Emanuelle shared some industry gossip on the ingredients. “Rumor in the fashion world is that it is a mix of sweat, sunflower seed husks, cigarette butts, falafel, and I believe, pee.”

Tahanah Merkazit is slated to be in stores as early as next month, and advance orders are piling up. Yet Emanuelle stressed that men should proceed with caution before purchasing this product. “As a woman, let me tell you that the effect of this stuff is powerful” as she furtively eyed the second model named Shlomo.

Based on the early success of “Tahanah Merkazit”, the fashion world can look forward to a late Fall release of the cologne “Number 5 Sherut”


City That’s Still Trying to Figure Out Where You Should Ride Your Bicycle is Positive It’s Going to Just Nail This Urban Light Rail Thing


(Photo Credit: Tomer Appelbaum)

By The Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 8/17/2015 at 1:20 PM

Tel Aviv, Kikar Rabin: Tel Aviv, a city still wrapping its collective head around where you’re supposed to and not supposed to ride your bicycle, is absolutely positive that it can successfully  plan, build, and operate a complex light rail system linking a dense urban core with outlying regions, while adhering to a strict timetable and budget.  The Daily Freier met up outside of City Hall with Dalia G. from the Urban Planning Department to discuss the project.

“Urban light rail is the logical next step for a modern metropolis like Tel Aviv” noted Dalia, as she deftly stepped aside of an electric bicyclist moving down the sidewalk at 20 Kph.  Dalia continued, “I mean, we are the Start-Up nation. Light rail is a logistical challenge well within our capabilities.”  as she expertly pulled the Daily Freier  reporter out-of-the-way of a driver parking his car halfway onto the sidewalk.  When the Daily Freier asked Dalia if perhaps the city might better spend its resources constructing a Central Bus Station that didn’t look like it was designed by a bargain-hunting Klingon pimp , she grew somewhat impatient. “Listen. We are fully capable of integrating light rail into our existing bus and train infrastructure.  I don’t understand your pessimism.  I mean, really. You act like we’re going to release thousands of rats on the city or something.”