SCENE: The Middle Eastern Foods Aisle at a Wegmans in Ithaca, New York. Ariel Gold is in Deep Thought near the hummus section…..

Voice #1: Wait, Sabra Hummus? I just can’t even. This is a Hate Crime!

Voice #2: You know, I’m somewhat of a Middle East Expert. In fact, I just returned from a trip to Iran!  Did you know there are Menorahs there with 18 candles? I know! Mind. Blown.