This week the world was rocked by the UNBELIEVABLE News that The United Nations Schools in Gaza have been infiltrated by Hamas. This story came as a shock to the millions of Dorks who weren’t reading the Daily Freier in 2015. Nonetheless, UNRWA’s big donors including the USA are pulling their funding. But this is all a big mistake. In fact, The Daily Freier spent the day compiling some of the very legitimate explanations for the current misunderstanding. So behold: UNRWA Teacher’s Top 10 Excuses for Joining Hamas!

1. It was either join Hamas or teach Health Class to Sophomores.

2. Actually it’s mandatory under the “No Jihadi Left Behind” Act of 2012.

3. I wanted to impress John Cusack.

4. Still not the Wokest thing an Elementary Education Major did this year.

5. I just wanted to meet the Hamas Bumblebee.

6. Our Union said we could attend the Hamas meetings via Zoom.

7. Roger Waters sent me a really nice invitation.

8. The kids asked if we could have class outside.

9. We will do ANYTHING to get out of Parent-Teacher Conference Night.

10. We kinda just hate Jews.