So the United States Embassy in Jerusalem decided that they want to be the Capitol of Buzzkills, because nobody can get appointments for nothing. We don’t want to say we called it, but back in 2021 we kinda called it. You see, the Embassy has been in a bit of a funk ever since they had to move from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Then Covid arrived and the virus became the perfect reason for government employees not to do things like “their jobs”.
But now it’s 2023, and The People are restless. How do we know this? Because we’re Anglo Olim; and if there are two things that Anglo Olim love, it’s complaining and WhatsApp groups. Right now we are on a bunch of these groups, where Olim are complaining and sending around petitions demanding that the Embassy give us some appointments.
Will the petition do any good? Here at The Daily Freier we like to speak in riddles. So behold: a list of Ten Things that will happen before you get your appointment at the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem!
- “Fiddler on the Roof” duet featuring Matisyahu & Roger Waters!
- Kerem House thinks your idea for an event is just Too Crazy to work.
- Soldier on your Taglit trip wants a commitment before things go any further.
- Bartender works at Mike’s Place for over a month.
- Hen Mazzig & Ariel Gold move to Spain together.
- Allenby doesn’t smell like pee today.
- “Asking for a friend” post on Secret Tel Aviv is actually asking for a friend.
- “I’m going back to Ulpan next year!”
- Your friend comes back from Midburn but doesn’t really have much to say about it.