Tag: Election 2018

Fact Checker: every word in Julia Salazar’s bio is false. “Even the punctuation.”

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 9/10/2018 at 4:17 PM

Brooklyn: An exhaustive and comprehensive review of New York State Senate candidate Julia Salazar‘s stated biography has revealed that every single part of it was totally made up, including the words ‘and’, ‘the‘, the number ‘3‘, the letter ‘Q‘, and all of the punctuation to include the commas, semi-colons, and parentheses.

The Daily Freier Institute for Fact Checking Excellence released their report this morning, and it has taken the media by storm. You know how the TV News awards you ‘Pinocchios’ if you make something up?” explained The Freier Institute’s lead Fact Checker Aaron Pomerantz. “We literally don’t have enough ‘Pinocchios’ to award her so we rated her “Geppetto” in hopes that this will lead to the creation of more Pinocchios.

Mr. Pomerantz then laid out his Institute’s findings: “Not only did she create the image of growing up poor despite living in a McMansion and having a $600,000 Trust Fund, she also created a Jewish family identity completely unknown to her brother and parents. Additionally, she appears to be the only person to ever immigrate to America from…. Florida.” Mr. Pomerantz then described further inconsistencies. “See that comma in paragraph 2? She made it up. Also that semi colon. And that apostrophe. Also the letter “Q” in that footnote over there. Then there’s that Number “6” in the addendum. Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake.”

When contacted about the accusations that her entire biography is false right down to the punctuation, her Campaign spokesperson responded that it depends upon what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.

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Linguists: “Ocasio-Cortes” is Spanish for “Sarah Palin”

[Editor’s Note: We kinda like Sarah Palin. But we’re also glad she’s now doing Reality TV instead of Elected Office. Plus, this was too funny not to use.]

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 7/18/2018 at 4:30 PM

New York: Scholars from Columbia University’s prestigious Linguistics Department have come up with a bold discovery: that “Ocasio-Cortes” is Spanish for “Sarah Palin“. The Daily Freier attended a Press Conference held by the Department Chair, Professor Nigel Tufnel.

This is truly groundbreaking.” Professor Tufnel explained. “It’s like a Unified Theory or Something. I mean, now we understand how somebody could believe that the low Unemployment Rate was because ‘everyone was working two jobs.’ We’re in awe.”

The Daily Freier reached out to Congressional Candidate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortes for her feelings on this important research into her surname. “These findings are biased and false, like lipstick on a pit bull.” admonished Ms. Ocasio-Cortes. “I want to refudiate it. Also, I’m not an expert at Geopolitics, but I can see the East River from my house.”