By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 10/6/2017 at 9:00 PM

Tel Aviv: In a historical first, the Mossad has revealed that two women were recently appointed division chiefs. And the ladies now in charge over at the mythical Intelligence agency wasted no time getting things done, with one of them, named “S”, taking out a terrorist over that thing he did 19 years ago that she never really forgot about. The Daily Freier met up with Ms. “S” at a non-descript North Tel Aviv cafe to get all the facts on how she helped set up [REDACTED] on a “Speed Date” with 72 young ladies somewhere on another Plane of Existence.

“So yeah, back in 1998 I was deep undercover somewhere in Southern Europe and [REDACTED] really made me upset.” The Daily Freier asked “S” if she remembered anything from that fateful day.

“Not really. I mean, I was wearing linen pants from Italy, a white top, and flats. I was feeling blah. My regular hairdresser was on holiday and his replacement totally messed up so I had to wear a hat for a week while it grew in. I had a chicken salad and a Diet Coke. The restaurant was playing smooth jazz.”

The Daily Freier asked Ms. “S” what exactly the terrorist did.

“Well [REDACTED] did [REDACTED] and said [REDACTED]. Then he asked me if something was wrong and I said “Nothing”. Then he asked me if I was OK, and I told him “everything is fine”. Yada Yada Yada, 19 years later, he sleeps with the fishes.”

The Daily Freier asked Ms. “S” if she could share any details from the operation that ended the life of [REDACTED].

“So right before I took him out, he turned and asked me why I was doing this. And I was like ‘Really?’ You don’t remember what you did wrong??? You know EXACTLY why I’m doing this.”

As the interview ended and we got up to leave, the Daily Freier forgot to hold the door for Ms. S and she almost fell over. When we asked her if she was OK, she shot us ‘that look’, said “everything is fine” and then quickly wrote something down in her notebook.