“Tal, do you love me?” “I’m Sorry, what was the question?”

“Tal, do you love me?” “I’m Sorry, what was the question?” Daily Freier Tel Aviv

(photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Lee Saunders

Last Updated 9/11/2016 at 1:00 PM

Tel Aviv: A million years removed from The Shtetl and Fiddler on the Roof, a survey this week underlined the relationship issues facing many Tel Avivians in the modern Internet Age: An inability to sustain relationships and concentrate on one person at a time as the nation faces an increasingly worrying marriage and demographic crisis.

The Government’s survey of 21-45 year-olds showed 83% of all respondents from Ramat Aviv to Bat Yam reported issues of commitment with many asking the lovely non-judgmental question of “Why are you still single?” on the first date. This was widely considered the death knell for a second date at Cofix.

I thought it was a pretty legitimate question.” noted Adina, 21. “I mean he WAS 24. And he’s been back from India for almost a year now.

Anat (40, Givatayim, Pisces) has been one-too-many times on the receiving end of  the ever-charming “Why haven’t you had kids yet?“.  So last week while on a second date with a serious Sephardi named Itzhik (35, Petach Tivkvah, Bored) she just snapped. “So he asked me why I don’t have kids yet… And I told him that I wasn’t allowed to keep the ones I found loitering outside the AM:PM Store. Apparently he didn’t appreciate the joke…. But at least I was polite. When my cousin Gal’s boyfriend asked her about having children, she told him that she quite liked the way her ‘downstairs’ looked and certainly didn’t want a damn extension.

But it gets worse. When 24-year old Tali (Neve Tzedek, Aries, Broke) begged to know why 29-year old Liran (His Parents’ House in Ramat Gan) was not in a serious relationship, she was not impressed with his reply that while he enjoyed the thrill of the chase, he only just now realized that Pokemon wasn’t real.

The Internet, which has given birth to a raft of dating apps from Tinder to Grindr, is Cupid’s favorite arrow in Tel Aviv. Yet things seem much better in Jerusalem where couples as young as 36 were celebrating their first child’s Wedding Bar Mitzvah. Maybe it is time for the return of the Matchmaker.

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