Tag: Bjork

Reykjavik City Council Boycotts Israel: Zionist Bjork Fans, Icelandic Matkot League Hardest Hit

 

Björk_at_Cannes(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 9/21/2015 at 11:00 AM

Reykjavik: The Reykjavik City Council’s boycott of Israeli goods is shaking key demographics in both nations, with fans of superstar Bjork who live in Judea and Samaria, along with Icelandic citizens who play the Israeli beach game of matkot feeling the brunt of the unfortunate turn of events.  The Daily Freier dispatched its International Affairs reporter to Iceland to cover this critical event, but he was eaten by a fire-breathing sea monster when he sailed over the edge of the earth (Hahahah! Just kidding!  No disrespect to our Icelandic readership! Some of our best friends are Icelandic!….Get it? Get it?)

The Daily Freier sat down with Sigur S., chairman of the Reykjavik chapter of the Pan-Icelandic Matkot League to discuss this troubling breach in relations in this critical international partnership.  “Just a balagan. A complete and total balagan.” noted a despondent Sigur as he munched on a mixture of  bamba and sunflower seeds.  “This is going to kill our big plans for a matkot tournament at the local lava-fed hot springs. Well, that and after last year’s ill-tempered walrus incident, nobody wants to sign up.”

Judea and Samaria’s vast fan-base of noted Icelandic musician Bjork is equally despondent.  Shmuel K., President of the Jordan Valley chapter of the Bjork Fanclub, shared his personal pain.  “I believe that HaShem gave this land to us, and I will defend Eretz Yisrael with my life…..But I also believe that “Human Behavior” is just about the most amazing song ever.  My wife BatSheva is a big fan also.  Sometimes, when we’re bored, we’ll just text Sugarcubes lyrics on Whatsapp to each other. But now what? What else can I listen to? I mean, ever since she dressed up as a giant duck, my previous obsession with the Cure just seems so….so….silly and immature.”

The Daily Freier urges its readers to chime in on this critical issue, or maybe just ask Chris Gunness what he thinks.

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