This week, Nike showed just how #Woke they are by making an ad starring this guy named Colin Kapaernik who people say once actually played football (we’ve found no proof). Anyhoo, the Daily Freier is not about to let a mere Gazillion Dollar Sneaker Company Out-Woke us.
So can we get one thing straight? Screenshotting my old tweets is basically a hate crime. Worse than the NYPD. Worse than Netanyahu. I mean, it’s even worse than the NFL not giving Colin Kapaernik a job. Yes. It’s THAT BAD. Because when you screenshot a tweet like this one….
…. Well you are simply taking away my voice as a Woman of Color and a Muslim in Donald Trump’s Amerika. And why are you even screenshotting my old tweets anyway? Is it because I speak Truth to Power? Like the time I told the CIA to “Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself”?
Yeah, I called it. But still no props. Plus, why you gotta bring up old business anyway? Why you gotta go back in time and dredge up the past? I mean, that’s just straight up creepy. Creepier than Zionism….
Yeah, I said it. Doesn’t give you the right to remind people about it though. You see, I’ve gone mainstream. Like “Hanging with Bernie Sanders” Mainstream. Like “Leading the #Resistance” Mainstream. Like “Promoted by Comedy Central” Mainstream. Is this real enough for you yet?
So that’s it for now, peeps. Don’t forget to catch me November 28th at the Jacobin Institute when I will teach you what is and isn’t anti-Semitism.
Speaking of which, wanna know the best thing about Intersectionality? I can connect anything to anything, especially if that second ‘anything’ happens to be a certain group of Arabs who have lived in the Holy Land for thousands of years. Or since last Wednesday. Whatever. Anyways, when it comes to Intersectionality, the Palestinian cause is like an amazing purse. You can literally match it with anything.