Tag: Sidney Blumenthal

It takes a Village to erase my Hard Drive.


Ms. Clinton was sad. Sad Sad Sad.

‘Cuz Congress had questions and it was looking quite bad.

Hillary gathered her pals and told them the news

The Senator got wise to the server in the loo.

But what shall we do?


“We need to wipe the server clean. Who has the Bleach Bit?”

I do!” said Sid. “Last name is Blumenthal and Max is my kid!

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“Who will smash the 13 Cell Phones?”

I can!” said Huma with plenty of verve. “Right after evicting Dick Pic McPerv!”

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Can we get immunity?

Bill said it’s a cinch. “I can talk on the plane with Loretta Lynch.

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Hillary asked “But what of the Fed? And their investigation?”

Just leave it to me, No problem homie. I run the FBI and my name’s Mr. Comey.

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“Who will spin the networks?”

I can!” replied the Podesta named John. “CNN, CBS, NBC, they’re all in on our con!

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But wait!” wondered Hil.  “Who will supervise the interns while everyone’s busy?

I got this.

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Max Blumenthal: Mossad Secretly Turned Me into a Nepotist Hack

 

Max_Blumenthal_on_RT_America(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 3/20/2016 at 10:50 PM

Reston, Virginia: Noted pundit Max Blumenthal dropped a bombshell of an accusation earlier today: that Israel’s Clandestine Service undertook a secret program that slowly and deliberately transformed him into a hack writer who cashes in on the connections of his father, noted Hillary Clinton advisor Sidney Blumenthal.  The Daily Freier sat down with Max at a local Starbucks to get the whole Megillah.

It all started about 10 years ago. I was a somewhat intelligent, if not particularly original college graduate. I guess the Mossad saw that as a threat. So they must have given me some sort of serum I guess. Or subliminal messages in my TV. Or maybe put a virus on my Mac….  Anyhow, within a couple of years I realized that I had degenerated into a cliché-ridden anti-Israel hack writer.  And yeah, Dad did not like that at all.”

The Daily Freier pressed Mr. Blumenthal for details on his alarming accusation.”I still don’t totally get it myself. Things just got….weird. For example, this German politician called me an Anti-Semite. So somehow the Mossad got me to follow him into a public restroom so I could yell at him. Now I’m banned from the Bundestag. [NOTE: THIS REALLY HAPPENED]Real crazy stuff. And then, get this, the Israeli’s got a  guy at that right-wing magazine ‘The Nation’ to describe my book as having been written for “The Hamas Book of the Month Club”…. I gotta admit, that’s pretty clever…..But yeah, Dad fixed that guy good.

In order to hear all sides of this troubling saga, the Daily Freier reached out to the Clinton campaign to get Hillary’s take on what her Key Advisor’s son has been up to vis-a-vis the Joooz. In response, her campaign spokesperson provided the following statement. ‘Secretary Clinton has nothing but the highest regard for Max. Which is why the campaign has provided him a generous grant to help with ‘Campaign Outreach’ in Papua New Guinea.  The grant runs through mid-November, and unfortunately there won’t be a lot of Internet for Max to communicate with the rest of the World.  But that’s the price one must pay for his expertise.  We look forward to reading his Trip Report sometime around Thanksgiving.”

When the Daily Freier asked Max for clarification on his new gig in the South Pacific, he promised to get back to us just as soon as the ghost of Christopher Hitchens stopped ruthlessly mocking him.