By Aaron Pomerantz
Last Updated 4/7/2016 at 2:50 PM
Tel Aviv: With the city still reeling from yesterday’s bombshell article exposing the relationship between the FOREX Industry and hookups, concerned citizens are now meeting up in public to demand answers from their elected leaders on today’s burning question: Is the Daily Freier for Real or What???? By this afternoon, hundreds of city residents had gathered in Kikar Rabin to demonstrate their concern and ensure their voices were heard. The Daily Freier wandered over to help investigate itself.
“I don’t know what to think anymore.” stated an obviously distraught Adi H. “I get all of my news from the Daily Freier. That’s how I learned that a talking Israeli bird caught spying in Lebanon joined ‘Breaking the Silence’. Yet none of the so-called ‘real news sources’ would touch the story.”
“The Daily Freier sucks.” complained Avi T. “They tell nothing but lies. They said that Secret Tel Aviv was getting so out of control that it had become a self-aware entity. So I cited them for my Term Paper on Artificial Intelligence at Hebrew University, and my professor failed me. I [freaking] hate those liars.”
Yet some loyal readers continued to defend the Daily Freier. “It’s a must-read for me.” explained alert local Ronit S. “I mean, weather, horoscope, fashion, everything. Just last week I was really concerned because an Olah Hadashah was feared missing. I mean, get this…. she was here for 3 days and STILL HAD NOT STARTED A BLOG! I know! How crazy is that? So I was really excited when I found out that she was OK and hanging out at Mike’s Place!”
As the story went to print, a prominent national politician volunteered to go undercover in Tel Aviv dressed as a native in order to the bottom of this mystery.