By Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 5/6/2018 at 10:00 PM

Tel Aviv, Kikar Milano: A recent Law mandating that elderly Israelis can cut to the front of lines in pharmacies, banks, post offices, and other public services has many Israelis very excited, including the older gentleman in your neighborhood who has been cutting you in line at the supermarket, bank, and post office for the last four years anyway. The Daily Freier caught up with Yekutiel S. for his views on the new law.

“This is amazing news, it shows that we’re really one big family. You know, Am Yisrael Chai.” Yekutiel explained, as he created his very own new line for the cheese counter at the Supersel on Ibn Gavriol Boulevard. “But honestly, I’ve been doing fine. To tell you the truth, I haven’t actually waited on line since 1972.”

The Daily Freier then asked Yekutiel how exactly he has been able to manage not waiting on lines without the benefit of legal protection. “So if I’m at the Post Office, I’ll ask if my friend Hanan is working.  If he’s working, great, he comes up from the back room, I hand him my package to mail, we talk for a while, and then I leave.  If Hanan’s not working, then I ask the clerk when he will be back, we talk for a while, and then I tell the clerk that I just have a package to send and I hand it to them and thank them before they have time to object. It’s really that easy.”

“But what about the Banks?” inquired the Daily Freier. “Recently, Bank HaPoalim has actually attempted to actually force customers wait their turn!”

“Oh that’s too easy.” replied Yekutiel. “Just walk right up and ‘Rak Shealot’. But last week for the first time that didn’t work, so I told the lady how I once worked in a bank. And I talked to her for 10 minutes about what it was like to work in a bank before computers. Punchcards. Stuff like that. I could tell she was busy, so after a while I told her that I just needed to move some money to my checking account and then I would be on my way…..Also, once in a while I just pretend to be French.”

The Daily Freier then followed Yekutiel as he walked to the Post Office to pay his water bill. As we entered the building and he prepared to do the trick where he stands next to the guy in front of you and pretends to know him then slowly sidles between the two of you, he spied the automatic kiosk that dispenses numbers for the queue. Yekutiel stared at the machine in awe.

“What IS this thing anyway?”

UPDATE: Once he figured out how the Postal Kiosk “numbers” system worked, he began methodically collecting every number “For Later” and he held out a plastic bag full of kiosk receipts representing every number between 1 and 999.