Tag: circumcision

Anti-Circumcision Guy at Shuk HaCarmel cuts 5% off the length of his daily protest event

Anti-Circumcision guy at Shuk HaCarmel cuts 5% off his daily protest time Daily Freier(Photo Credit: The Facebook)

By Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 8/21/2016 at 6:45 PM

Tel Aviv, Carmel Market: Word on the streets is that the guy who stands outside Shuk HaCarmel protesting circumcision holding a graphic sign while wearing pants with a fake bloodstain around the junk region…. yeah, that guy. Anyway, it appears that he has snipped utilized efficiencies to reduce between 5 and 7 percent from his daily time spent protesting the Covenant of Abraham in front of a bunch of Jews who no doubt are having serious second thoughts about their previously great idea to grab a nice shawarma before doing some grocery shopping in the Shuk.  The Daily Freier took the time to speak with Anti-Circumcision Guy to get his incisive analysis on what is going down in the Foreskin Protection Protest Community.

So it’s kind of hot and dusty here in the Summer.” explained Anti-Circumcision Guy.” And I figured, a shorter speech means that I don’t spend so much time in the hot summer sun. So yeah, when it comes to time spent protesting out here, I cut a little off the top. And you know what? I’m less sunburned now and even a bit less dehydrated. So I guess you could say there are even some medical benefits to this practice. With all the heat and dust here, the shorter length protest just seemed more sanitary.”

The Daily Freier asked the Notorious Anti-Circumcision Guy (or just “Notorious ACG“) if he ever had problems with members of the Community whom he encountered on the street. “Sure, some Counter-Protesters show up from time to time to yell at me, but they’re really just being dicks unhelpful and argumentative. I just try to ignore them and keep sharing my views.”

Despite his failure to change minds, Notorious ACG is not giving up. “I’ve been out here a long time. It’s a tradition. And it would be stupid to turn my back on this tradition just because some people recently started to disagree with it…… I’ve also found that a slightly shorter, neater speech is just more aesthetically pleasing to the public. Besides, Israeli women seem to prefer the protests better this way.

At that moment, Alert local Ronit S. passed by and vigorously agreed with Anti-Circumcision Guy’s belief that a shorter protest was better, but clarified that “We really just want at least 5% off wherever we go“.

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Advertisements

Dear Daily Freier: Mazgan and Circumcision

dear-daily-freier

Today the Dear Daily Freier advice column answers questions that you were too sweaty and annoyed or embarrassed to ask yourselves. You’re welcome.

———————————————————————————————————————

Dear Daily Freier: My mates and I are getting a bit legless sometimes, I mean drunk. Actually shit-faced. Bu the problem is that the next day I am not even sure where I am. Am I still alive or have I gone to Hell? This country is hotter than I thought. In all meanings of the word. What’s the Deal?

Curiously,

Joe from London

//////////////////////////////////////////

Joe: That’s a very topical question. For you and your mates we’ve made a list of 7 signs that you live in Israel this summer (obviously none of them can refer to Hell. Our monotheism doesn’t really “do” Hell. Maybe something less severe but still unpleasant. Like “Heck”)

1. You take a shower every time you come back home (even if you just went out to throw away the rubbish).
2. You have 3-4 loads of laundry weekly and this process seems to be endless. Like a Möbius strip
3. Hugging your friends becomes awkwardly embarrassing.
4. You really miss this rainy and dreary weather of your hometown that you used to complain about.
5. A cold wave of air when you pass by a supermarket feels like lost paradise on Earth.
6. You are seriously thinking of creating a cult to the engineers who invented mazgan.
7. You say mazgan (instead of the AC), and everybody understands you.

———————————————————————————————————————

Dear Daily Freier: So you know the Anti-Circumcision guy who stands outside of Shuk HaCarmel and protests all day in a pair of white pants with fake bloodstains?  Do you know his situation?  Is he in a relationship or is he single?

Asking for a Friend.

Dear “For a Friend”: This is a tough one that we don’t have the answer for. Hey Daily Freier readers!  What’s the deal with this guy?  Enquiring minds want to know!

———————————————————————————————————————

Dear Daily Freier: I have a question about this unexplainable New Olah psychology. I am a born and raised Israeli dating a Polish Olah. We both love each and stuff, but you know, sometimes you want something… fresh. So I used to hook up with one girl (I’m not a jerk, I told her I have a girlfriend) and she was looking for a job. I told her that  my girlfriend’s company was hiring and she should apply. When the two girls met and found out how they know me, my girlfriend became livid and wants to break up… But why? What have I done wrong?

Feeling Confused,
Barak
 //////////////////////////////////////////
Dear Barak, we would recommend you confess that you haven’t done that inadvertently and you had no malice to hurt her. You feel down in the dumps and ask for redemption… Screw that, this is just ludicrous! We can’t help you, but recommend you post this to Secret Tel Aviv.

Got a Question? Drop us an email at daily.freier@gmail.com and we will be happy to dispense free advice worth every Shekel!

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save