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(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Mia Deych

Last Updated 7/13/2016 at 7:30 AM

Tel Aviv: In a city where 99.9% of the single population are on 4-5 dating apps simultaneously (0.1% just got their phone stolen at Radio), planning and organizing your personal life becomes quite challenging. Swiping 500 pictures while writing היי) היי + emoji if you really liked someone) 100 times a day is so exhausting. Then you have to remember if that was “Vegan Noa that has two dogs and lives in Florentin” or “Sexy Noa that lives on Gordon and does Standup Paddle Board” (completely different mindset and dating approach). What was the name of the guy you just spoke on the phone with? Yoni? Roni? Or maybe Yaniv? No, Yuval! How can I save so many Yuvals, so I won’t get confused?

Have no fear! Yet another ingenious Israeli Start-Up idea will soon change your life. Rivka the Dating Robot will take care of your dating profiles, and it’s much better than just catfishing. Select your preferences: he/she is wearing sunglasses in every picture (= “I’m so cheesy“) : swipe left; pictures with ex (“let me teach you how to crop“) – left; elevator/bathrooms selfies (“what were you thinking?“) – to the left, to the left (Everything you own is in the box to the left). Vegan – yay or nay? Blond, beard, Sabra, Foreign, boobs – it has more options than any Adult site you (might) use.

Let’s say you’ve got sufficient matches and you’re ready for a waste of time (AKA “chatting“). Believe us, Rivka the Dating Robot knows how to do it better. She peeps into previous conversations of your potential date and knows exactly what, how and when to ask (and obviously much more pushy than polite American Siri). Next step – Rivka saves a phone number with a short description, useful advice and the time of your first date. Just put on your flip-flops and you are ready to meet your destiny!

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(photo credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Yekutiel Bornstein

Last Updated 1/10/2016 at 6:10 PM

Tel Aviv, Bograshov: Apparently your Roomba cleaning robot has informed the Chief Rabbinate of Israel that you have been violating her religious rights by forcing her to operate during the hours of Shabbat, as there is now a Rabbi at your door demanding to speak with her.

Your Roomba, who recently became Baal T’shuva and now goes by the name “Rivka”, is apparently unhappy with this arrangement according to the Rabbi, who also took the time to let you know that he’s not too impressed with the apparent Kashrut status of your kitchen either. And now it appears that Rivka was assisted in this endeavor by another religiously observant resident of your household, Yossi the talking household mold patch, who lives in the wall between your laundry balcony and your bathroom.

So apparently, in addition to helping Rivka to get in touch with the Rabbanut, Yossi also helped Rivka contact the Worker’s Rights NGO Kav LaOved, because their attorney just stopped by as well. And it seems you’ve been served with papers explaining that you are expected to retroactively pay into her Bituach Leumi pension fund based on 9 hours per week from March 2013 through the present. Her attorney also let you know that if an amicable agreement is reached, Rivka will forget about the fact that you carried her past Customs at Ben Gurion Airport in your backpack 3 years ago without paying import duty.

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