Refusing to Give in to Terror, Tel Aviv Man Maintains Normal Routine of Just Being a Total Dick

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By Aaron Pomerantz and Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 10/27/2015 at 8:30 PM

Tel Aviv, Kikar Rabin: Local resident Dan G. doesn’t like to be called a hero.   But his steadfast refusal to let the current wave of terror change his way of life just might make him one. Dan is not about to let the terrorists win, and he demonstrates this by maintaining the same daily activities he has always maintained: being a complete dick to any and all he comes into contact with in this great city.  The Daily Freier was lucky enough to tag along with Dan as he went about his day.

We met Dan outside his apartment building in the Kikar Rabin neighborhood, as he parked his car up onto the sidewalk, blocking the route for pedestrians but providing him a mere 10 meter walk to his front door. As Dan got out of the car with his dog, he explained his philosophy. “The terrorists want to destroy my way of life. But I won’t let them” explained Dan as his dog defecated on the sidewalk and we continued to walk without stopping.  The Daily Freier followed Dan as he stopped by his local post office to mail a parcel.  “The most important thing we can do is just maintain our routine.  You know, live our life.” explained Dan as he strode past the ticket machine and several customers clutching tickets and walked right up and handed his package to a postal employee. “I just feel that this is my contribution.” said Dan as he checked the Facebook page “Secret Tel Aviv” and wrote some pretty inappropriate stuff on a post from an attractive Spanish girl asking for help finding a roommate. We then followed Dan to a bus stop for the Number 25 bus, as he sidestepped the line, got on the bus and kicked his feet up on the seat in front of him. The Daily Freier then followed Dan to his favorite bar where we enjoyed beers while he explained his personal code of conduct. “My philosophy is just to keep being yourself in tough times.” When the Daily Freier got back from the bathroom, Dan was gone and we ended up paying the bar tab ourselves.

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