By Yuval Weiss
Last Updated 11/9/2015 at 3:30 PM
Haifa: Ahead of their high-profile meeting in Washington this week, a team of scientists at Haifa’s prestigious Technion Institute have managed to harness the animosity sexual tension between Binyamin Netanyahu and Barack Obama to power a small turbine on the Israeli Coast just south of Haifa. The Daily Freier attended a press conference where the lead scientists explained this fascinating breakthrough.
“It is actually a rather simple concept” explained Doctoral Student Gideon B. “The intense feelings these men have for one another actually charge the ions in the air around them with opposite yet attracting polarities. If properly captured, these ions can then generate a very powerful electric current. This current in turn spins turbines allowing us to generate several Megawatts of power, the exact level depending on whether or not Jeffrey Goldberg has published a column that day”
At this point, co-moderator Alex G. played a short video demonstrating the concept. “So in the turbine itself, we play a constant newsfeed of the two men interacting in public……OK, so here we have the two leaders awkwardly hugging on a tarmac……..And now we have them publicly contradicting one another at a joint press conference, like a bickering couple……And now we have a picture of them staring into one another’s eyes. It looks like they can’t stand each other, but it’s really a thin line between love and hate. You can literally feel the excitement in the air. I don’t know about you, but the hair on my arms are sticking out right now.”
While the commercial and economic feasibility of the generator have yet to be fully determined, Gideon noted that if he could only find a picture of the two leaders in matching denim jackets and cowboy hats, he could power the City of Haifa for months.