Tag: Obama

Revised Mission Statement for the U.S. Holocaust Museum

Holocaust Museum Daily freierSo apparently the U.S. Holocaust Museum has expanded its Mission Statement to include the defense of Barack Obama’s legacy on Syria.

And this has like ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the fact that the Museum Board is now packed with Obama Administration alumnae to include Ben Rhodes, AKA “The Guy who sold us the Iran Deal”.

So the Museum authored a study that said “a variety of factors, which were more or less fixed, made it very difficult from the beginning for the US government to take effective action to prevent atrocities in Syria, even compared with other challenging policy contexts.” Using computational modeling and game theory methods, as well as interviews with experts and policymakers, the report asserted that greater support for the anti-Assad rebels and US strikes on the Assad regime after the August 2013  chemical weapons attack would not have reduced atrocities in the country, and might conceivably have contributed to them.

Anyway, it appears that the Museum is real busy these days burnishing a certain former President’s legacy. And we would not want to disturb them. That would be a red line rude. So we went ahead and edited the Museum’s mission statement (posted above) to reflect their new Goals. You’re Welcome.

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Scientists at the Technion Build Turbine to Harness the Sexual Tension Between Netanyahu and Obama

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(Photo Credit: Getty Images)

By The Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 11/9/2015 at 3:30 PM

Haifa: Ahead of their high-profile meeting in Washington this week, a team of scientists at Haifa’s prestigious Technion Institute have managed to harness the animosity sexual tension between Binyamin Netanyahu and  Barack Obama to power a small turbine on the Israeli Coast just south of Haifa.  The Daily Freier attended a press conference where the lead scientists explained this fascinating breakthrough.

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(Photo Credit: Getty)

It is actually a rather simple concept” explained Doctoral Student Gideon B. “The intense feelings these men have for one another actually charge the ions in the air around them with opposite yet attracting polarities.  If properly captured, these ions can then generate a very powerful electric current. This current in turn spins turbines allowing us to generate several Megawatts of power, the exact level depending on whether or not Jeffrey Goldberg has published a column that day

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(Photo Credit: Reuters)

At this point, co-moderator Alex G. played a short video demonstrating the concept. “So in the turbine itself, we play a constant newsfeed of the two men interacting in public……OK, so here we have the two leaders awkwardly hugging on a tarmac……..And now we have them publicly contradicting one another at a joint press conference, like a bickering couple……And now we have a picture of them staring into one another’s eyes.  It looks like they can’t stand each other, but it’s really a thin line between love and hate.  You can literally feel the excitement in the air.  I don’t know about you, but the hair on my arms are sticking out right now.”

U.S. President Barack Obama, right, and Benjamin Netanyahu, prime minister of Israel, sit during a meeting at the White House in Washington, D.C., U.S., on, Monday, Sept. 30, 2013. Obama and Netanyahu met today as the contacts between Obama and Irans president test the improved relationship of the U.S. and Israeli leaders. Photographer: Chris Kleponis/Bloomberg via Getty Images
(Photo Credit Chris Kleponis/Bloomberg via Getty Images)

While the commercial and economic feasibility of the generator have yet to be fully determined, Gideon noted that if he could only find a picture of the two leaders in matching denim jackets and cowboy hats, he could power the City of Haifa for months.