By Emily Goldstein & Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 10/28/23 at 1:20 PM

Tel Aviv: The Daily Freier has run afoul of journalistic standards and now faces public censure. What started as a fanciful satirical vignette about “a guy who goes on the popular local Facebook group ‘Secret Tel Aviv’ during wartime in order to get some action” has descended into an object lesson in journalistic malpractice. You see, had the Daily Freier bothered to check the Internets and the Googles this morning, we would have noticed “a guy who goes on the popular local Facebook group ‘Secret Tel Aviv’ during wartime in order to get some action”. Something like this has never happened to us in the 9-year history of our newspaper. Except that time. Also that time. And that other time.

The Daily Freier tracked down our editor Yuval Weiss about this scandal as he walked to synagogue and tried to claim that he couldn’t comment “because it’s Shabbat.” Mr. Weiss reminded us that trying to get laid on Secret Tel Aviv during a crisis was popularized during Corona and that this was not a big deal. Then he told us to go away.

On the Bright Side, it’s 2014 again in the Daily Freier’s collective mind: Hamas is shooting missiles at us, Taylor Swift is dating someone exciting, and Secret Tel Aviv is delightfully weird after becoming annoyingly basic for a while. Keep it up Jonny!