Ms. Gürbüz, who in fine sibling tradition had previously blamed her sister for the tweets, initially planned on telling the public that a canine had devoured her schoolwork. Yet at the Press Conference she admitted the truth. “I thought I was working for UNRWA. This was truly an honest mistake. I mean, if I thought I worked in an office environment where you could get fired for bashing Zios inappropriate remarks about the Jewish people, I would have been more circumspect. I mean, UNRWA doesn’t fire ANYONE!
London: Labour Party Leader Jeremy Corbyn expressed his concern following tomorrow’s tweet from a Labour Party Councillor alleging that the Joooz secretly run the banks from a secret enclave in the Swiss Alps. Labour, which lately appears to strive to be the “Socialism” in “The Socialism of Fools“, was taken very much off guard by tomorrow’s tweet, as this type of thing simply does not happen in Labour.
In other news, members of Labour’s Environment and Ecology Committee have proposed a tree-saving initiative in which instead of a full-page statement, the Party will denounce future anti-Semitic tweets with a terse “Please see our last statement on this subject.”
London: Objections to a recent showing of “The Merchant of Venice” by Labour has left Party leadership surprised and confused. Sheakespeare’s famous play is known for paintingZios members of the Jewish faith in a not-so-nice-light, but Party leadership insist that this played no role in their decision of the “Labour Party Players” drama troupe’s decision to hold a showing as a fundraiser for the upcoming elections. The Daily Freier spoke with Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn for his take on recent events.
The Daily Freier spoke with members of the public as they departed last night’s showing for their opinions on this latest controversy. “Finally, a play that really has a message.” enthused musician Roger Waters. “I suppose that the usual suspects will demand a pound of flesh raise spirited objections, but ‘the show must go on’ as they say.”
Hoping to move past the incident, Mr. Corbyn said that he was looking forward to next month’s presentation of “The Passion of the Christ.”
Live from Tel Aviv. This is like Satire and Stuff.