(left to right: Rachel, Sarah-Rachel, Rachel)

By Emily Goldstein

Last Updated 6/22/2018 at 3:50 PM

Jerusalem: Israeli non-profit Nefesh B’Nefesh is speaking out today to denounce published reports that every woman who made Aliyah in 2017 was named Rachel or Sarah. Or Sara. Or Rakhel. Or Rochel. Or Racheli…. Anyhoo, they are not happy about that rumor and are now setting the record straight.

“This is just ridiculous.” admonished Sarah B., a Nefesh B’Nefesh spokesperson from the Jerusalem office. “You really shouldn’t believe everything you hear. It’s like you’re totally ignoring the Leahs. And the Devorahs. And the Devorah Leahs.”

In order to get all sides of the story, the Daily Freier reached out to members of the local community to get their take on this important story.

“That just doesn’t even make any sense.” mused Rachel S. as she walked her dogs on Bograshov Street. “Like how do people come up with this stuff?”

“Fake News!” wrote Sara L. on her popular Aliyah Blog “Sara’s Adventures in the Shuk!”

“OMG where did you hear something so silly?” asked Rachel E. from the Jewish Agency’s Public Affairs Department.

“First I’ve heard of this.” stated Rakhel W., the Officer in Charge of the IDF’s Olah hadasha code talker unit.

“This is the sort of propaganda that I would expect to hear in the age of Trump and Bibi.” complained local author Sarah Tuttle-Singer. “Also, you forgot to add Jessica.”

In other news, Nefesh B’Nefesh today also denied allegations that their next citizenship ceremony will be held at “a nice sushi place with a hecshcher.”