Month: December 2025

BDS

Cameron Kasky’s Top Ten Excuses for Visiting Israel

So Jerry Nadler is retiring from Congress and Hashem has a sense of humor. Because an even more annoying Jew-ish person is running for his vacant seat. Cameron Kasky’s brand is basically being a less-accomplished version of Mamdani, only kinda Jewish. And he HATES Israel. So imagine our surprise when journalist Eliana Goldin cold busted him at Ben Gurion Airport wearing a Covid mask and trying to be incognito! Then, in a fit of bravery, he accused Eliana of being a “narc“! Does he think that she’s his mean Freshman Dorm RA or something? But we here at the Daily Freier just KNOW that Cam had to have a good reason to run the BDS gauntlet and visit Altneuland. Because if he didn’t, that would make him kind of a hypocrite. So behold: Cameron Kasky’s Top Ten Excuses for Visiting Israel!


1. My HMO assigned me to Doctor Shakshuka.             

2. Jewish Voice for Peace told me that Sukkot is this week.       

3. Muhammad El-Kurd said there’s a really chill hookah bar in Ramallah where he “keeps it on the DL”.

4. Wanted a free trip with Taglit but they banned me after “the hummus incident” in Williamsburg.

5. Zohran asked me to “take lots of pictures” of Army bases, bus terminals, and ports.

6. Really wanted to see the Bernie Sanders statue on Frishman Beach.

7. Ilhan wants to open a Daycare Center in Jenin and asked me to look at some Real Estate.

8. Needed some talking points for Tucker’s show next week.

9. Rashida dared me to tape $50,000 in non-sequential bills to my body and deliver it to her Uncle in Nablus.

10. Honestly, I thought I would get away with it.

Start Up Nation

The Freier Guide to Home Renovation

By Chava Ewa

Last Updated 27 December 2025 at 6:00 PM

Ramat Beit Shemesh: “The Chagim are long over. Why do my downstairs neighbors still have their Sukkah up?” wondered Leah C. “It’s not just them, the folks in the other building made this big elaborate Sukkah and they still haven’t taken it down either. The other night, I walked by and it sounded like they were having a party in there.” Leah stared into the distance for a minute and then continued. “That’s strange, right?“

Here at the Daily Freier we love a good mystery, so we started an investigation into this sudden spate of Sukkahs that seemingly stayed up long past the season of the Chagim. After we reassured Leah’s neighbor that we were not sent by the Arnona department (or Maas HaChnasa!) she finally spilled the tea: “This apartment was half this size when we moved in.” she noted. “But every year, we built another extension… one here in front and one there in the back. But as far as the Moatza knows, that’s a Sukkah, that’s a Sukkah and the extra level we added on the roof is a Sukkah too. We just left some old palm branches on the roof and hung up a few plastic pomegranates.”

According to Leah, there is a neighborhood legend about a family who ran a Yeshiva dormitory in their backyard during the Corona lockdown. “They made a Sukkah covered with old plywood and some bamboo pieces.” she explained. “It looked very neglected and run-down, which is actually quite a lot for this neighborhood!“

“But why didn’t the noise from all those yeshiva boys attract attention?” we inquired.

“She has a bunch of kids.” Leah replied. “There were noise complaints from the neighbors who thought she was running an illegal Gan, but nobody heard the yeshiva boys through the noise from 9 kids and the CD player blasting Uncle Moishy.“

 

Haaretz

Caught! Hitler Found Hiding in the Haaretz Online Comments Section
“Drag their ass, Kween!”

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 18 December 2025 at 3:15 PM

Tel Aviv: At long last, the world’s most infamous war criminal is behind bars. Adolf Hitler was caught early this morning hiding in plain sight: within the comments section of the Haaretz Online English Edition. Nobody knows just how long the Austrian Corporal was hiding there as his behavior did not arouse any suspicion and he was able to easily blend in with his environment. You see, the Haaretz Comments Section is quite the Rogue’s Gallery: a mix of bad faith Eurotrash who “only have a problem with Zionists”, Arabs saying the foulest crap while reminding you that they are Semites and thus incapable of Anti-Semitism, and a guy with a profile picture of Reinhard Heydrich who “has some questions” about the Holocaust.  The whole thing is made weirder by the fact that Haaretz Hebrew print edition is reliably Leftist but not completely insane (OK, ALMOST completely insane) and is read by as many as 700 people who all live within 3 blocks of Sheinkin Street in Tel Aviv. 

Hitler himself was rather relaxed about the whole affair. Looking much younger than his 136 years (which the Former Fuhrer credited to his vegetarian diet, daily walks, and some hot yoga), Adolf noted stated that he spent the last 8 years hiding next to a story about a Jewish family who died in a Jerusalem house fire that garnered 150 “laughing” emojis. Hitler was not shy about sharing his opinions about Haaretz online, noting that while its Middle East coverage was “fairly even-handed“, columnist Gideon Levy struck him as “a little crazy“. Hitler vowed to keep in touch with some of the people he met while hiding in the comments section, to include “ZyklonHeiler“, “StopZios1948” and “Candace Owens“.

When asked how he would spend his time in prison, Hitler stated that he was recently asked to be an informal campaign advisor by “a promising new leader in the State of Maine“.

Chanukah, The Jooz

Tucker Carlson Tells the Story of Chanukah
באנו טאקר לגרש

In the coming days we will be informed that we need to celebrate a certain Holiday. A holiday called “Chanukah”. Spinning tops, fried food, some presents. What’s not to like? And that’s EXACTLY how the people who packaged this so-called Holiday want you to think. Because their Greatest Fear is that YOU, the American People, will “peek behind the curtain.” Start asking Questions. Start doing your OWN research about what ACTUALLY happens BEHIND the scenes at the Chanukah Lobby. And that FEAR on their part tells you more than any slickly produced Infomercial about “The Festival of Lights”. So let’s look at the facts.

There’s a King named Antiochus. A Strong Leader from Syria that some Jews don’t like. Sound familiar? What EVIL plots does this man Antiochus want to hatch upon the Jews? War? Famine? Genocide??? No, Antiochus wants to encourage physical fitness in Greek Gymnasiums. Some of the people there exercise naked. Not my idea of a Saturday night, but what do I know? But this offends some powerful Jews. And these powerful Jews with names like “Mattathias” and “Judah Maccabee” don’t like being offended. 

So how do these easily offended Jewish powerbrokers react? Do they call for dialogue? Do they look for common ground? No, they embark on another Israel-inspired regime change war in the Middle East. They don’t claim to have a Mandate to pursue this war… and No Honest person suggests they COULD get one. Because the people who actually WANTED this war never actually admitted their true agenda: Ending Religious Pluralism in the Holy Land. No longer can you sacrifice a pig in the “Holy of the Holies”. But why not? Was there a vote that I missed? No, because that would have exposed the TOTAL UNWILLINGNESS of the people PUSHING this war to find a peaceful solution. They knew they could not win the debate honestly. So they changed the premise. Now we’re talking about armored Syrian war elephants. WAR ELEPHANTS!!! It would be absurd if wasn’t so serious.

But that’s the Agenda that was forced upon us by an unaccountable cabal of powerful forces. So how do they justify this power grab? They find some oil. And that oil lasts a really long time apparently. I mean, Case Closed, right?

This weekend when you’re “chowing down” on a jelly doughnut you need to ask yourself: “Who wants me to eat this doughnut? And why do they so DESPERATELY want me to eat it without asking questions?”

Tune in next week when I explore healthy Middle Eastern diets by tossing The Emir of Qatar’s salad.