Tag: The Bubble

First Time Ever! Meretz now campaigning east of Ayalon Highway!

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 2/27/2019 at 4:00 PM

Givatayim: In a move being described as “Bold”, and “Game-Changing”, the Meretz Party has begun campaigning for votes East of Tel Aviv’s Ayalon Highway. The Kinda Lefty party, long known for absolutely dominating entire Tel Aviv neighborhoods, has decided that a good way to campaign in a national Israeli election is to go out and talk to people who live in…. Israel. The Daily Freier caught up with Meretz volunteers Assaf and Dalit as they wandered around Givatayim handing out literature.

It’s time that Meretz reached out to the Periphery.” said Assaf. “We need to find the people who live in Distant Settlements like here in Givatayim, and who knows, maybe even Ramat Gan!”

The Daily Freier asked Assaf and Dalit just what precipitated this unorthodox move by Meretz.

The 2015 Election was just such a shock.” Dalit explained. “I mean, nobody I know voted for Bibi, so how could he win? It made no sense. But then we thought, wow, maybe there are people who live in other neighborhoods. And maybe we could, I don’t know, talk to them. Crazy, right?

Assaf talked about just how difficult the process has been to work in a new environment. “I can’t find Haaretz anywhere, and I just saw this guy walking around with a weird cap on his head. I think it’s called a….wait….I know this…..”

A Kippah?” offered the Daily Freier helpfully

Yes! That’s it! A Kippah! But I think we’re really making progress.”

Dalit then described other challenges they face trying to expand the reach of Meretz. “Last week Assaf and I did some amazing outreach in Holon. We must have signed up 50 people to our e-mail list. But then on Shabbat, Tamar made these very…. special…. brownies and now I can’t remember where I put my clipboard with all the names.”

As we got up to leave, Assaf asked us if we had any rolling papers.

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Zionist Union/Meretz Post-Election Study cancelled because nobody knew a Likud voter

city_of_goldBy Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 3/23/2015 at 9:20 PM

Tel Aviv, Sheinkin Street: This week’s post-election assessment seminar, an attempt by the losing parties to draw lessons learned and better prepare for the next election, was forced to adjourn when none of the attendees could fathom that anyone voted for a different party.

Ramat Aviv resident Danny C. was incredulous. “I don’t get it.  Nobody at my start-up, nobody in my improv group, literally nobody at the Namal Market–none of them voted differently than me.  I just don’t get it.”  Neve Tzedek resident Dalit S. was equally dumbfounded. “It just doesn’t make sense. I asked everyone at Bikram….nobody. I also wait tables at that vegan place over by Dizengoff Center.  Again, none of my customers voted for those other people.”  In a moment of clarity, Florentin resident Roni P. reflected “It’s almost as if there is some other existence on the other side of Ayalon Highway.  I would like to learn more of this other dimension of existence, but I fear approaching the Forbidden Zone. I could fall off of the Edge of the World.