Tag: Ramat Aviv

Start Up Nation, The Israel Barbie Collection

Introducing Uri the Startup Guy, from our Barbie Israel Collection!

Welcome to the latest addition to our line of Israel-themed Barbie Dolls! Roxy Cruz has taken time out of her busy schedule of pestering her Facebook friends about the virtues of Veganism in order to bring us this new character in her evolving North Tel Aviv Soap Opera! Back in 2020 we met Covid Meirav Barbie, Ken Yuval Melech HaShuk, Yuval’s European Wife Barbie, and Yuval’s girlfriend Barbie Sigalit. In 2023, Roxy introduced us to #GirlBoss Barbie Danit and her Ex Ken Ofir HaHatir. Danit’s story was so compelling that today we bring you her husband. So without further ado, please say hello to Ken Uri the Startup Guy!

Lives in Ramat Aviv with his wife Barbie Danit and their 3 children. Runs a well-funded Online Investment Startup which he created with the $3 Million that his father gave him after Uri gave up his dream of moving to Ecuador and starting a nudity hostel.

Uri wakes up every day at 5:00 AM for no reason at all other than to watch himself in the mirror and say his affirmations. Then he takes an ice shower before he goes to run meetings at his office in Ramat HaHayal, where Uri gives vague instructions to his managers and throw tantrums like a toddler.

Goes to ‘Sexy Fish’ with Ron on the weekends and has a secret relationship with Barbie Sadie, who he met at a Feminine Power retreat.

Has a picture of Elon Musk tattooed on his butt.

* If our readers make a big enough ruckus, maybe we can nudnik Roxy into creating the “Barbie Sadie” character!

** Please do not Google “Ecuador Nudity Hostel”.

The Israel Barbie Collection

Introducing Danit, from our Barbie Israel Collection!

Please welcome the latest addition to our line of Barbie Israel products!  When last we caught up with our in-house designer Roxy Cruz, she had introduced us to Ken Ofir HaHatir. Today we meet Barbie Danit, who has a somewhat complicated “History” with Mr. Ofir HaHatir.

Also, our Legal Department asked us to remind all of you that any resemblance between our line of Barbies and actual people who may or may not live in or around Tel Aviv is strictly coincidental!

Danit lives in Ramat Aviv with her husband Ken Uri The Startup Guy, and her three children Prince, Lolla and Duke. Also their dog Steve.

Barbie Danit drinks green tea every day with her best friend, Barbie Shoshi, who is married to Ken Ron the Chef and is a busy mom and businesswoman. They both do two daily hours of meditation and manifestation, followed by one hour of affirmation and writing down their goals for the day. Then they go out in their yoga pants to run errands and attend business meetings. Neither of them do yoga.

Barbie Danit has a small store in Basel where she sells 400 shekel succulents because hashtag Bossbabe.  However, as she made only 3270 shekels this month (before Vat), Ken Uri will be investing in her business again because it’s a new business full of potential that only started in 2017 and it’s also hashtag relationship goals. Though the ROI is low, Uri the Startup Guy invests because it’s better than the DYI candle business that she had before. Also because Danit doesn’t know what ROI stands for.

Barbie Danit is going to therapy because whenever she sees her Toxic Ex of 17 years ago Ken Ofir HaHatir, (every time she goes to his falafel business by accident), she has a panic attack. Ken Uri the Startup Guy pays for the therapy sessions.

*Barbie Danit Meditation Retreat Outfit and Xanax Pills each sold separately.

Haaretz, Tel Aviv University

Protest at Tel Aviv University Research Lab after Chimp forced to read Haaretz Kills Itself

TAU Chimp

(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Aaron Pomerantz and Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 1/4/2016 at 11:30 AM

Ramat Aviv: Israel’s Animal Rights Community is up in arms  over credible reports that a chimpanzee housed at Tel Aviv University’s Sackler Faculty of Medicine took its own life early today after a marathon session in which it was forced to read the newspaper Haaretz every day for three weeks straight. The chimp, known as “Dudi” was found in his cage at dawn, unresponsive, and attempts to revive him with coffee and a nice cinnamon pastry failed. The Daily Freier was on the scene as various Animal Rights Activists chained themselves to the Medical School’s gate.

“This is unacceptable and it has to stop. NOW.” exhorted an impassioned Tamir W. “To force a defenseless creature to read Haaretz cover to cover for three weeks. I mean, I don’t even do that, and I’m Lefty as hell.” Tamir continued. “If they had just let Dudi read the Weekend edition, maybe skip the editorial page during the week, that would have been OK.  But to overdose him like this…….it’s just not right. No human could take this punishment. Well, no human outside of Sheinkin.”

Even some members of the Medical School’s student body left class early to stand in solidarity with the protesters.  A tearful Smadar K. recalled her experiences with Dudi. “As part of my internship, I used to bring Dudi his snacks every day. When I first met him, he was so happy.  But as he got further and further into the Haaretz experiment, he became plagued with self-doubt. It’s like he started to…..he started to blame himself for everything. Like when I showed up 2 hours late one day, he used sign language to apologize to me……but I was the one who was late. What the hell?”

University officials were unapologetic today, with Spokesperson Tamar C. speaking to assembled media. “Whatever. This is science.  Anyway, next week the orangutans will start going online to read +972.”