Month: January 2016

Dizengoff Center

Tel Aviv’s Latest Indie Horror Film is Based on the Dizengoff Center Navigation App

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By Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 1/5/2016 at 5:20 PM

Tel Aviv, Dizengoff Center: Tel Aviv’s Cinema scene got quite a fright today with the premier showing of “Dizi Spell“, an independent horror film based on the Dizengoff Center Mall’s “EasyDizi” Navigation App. The Daily Freier was lucky to score a seat to the premier, held at Dizengoff Center’s very own Lev Tel Aviv Cinema. (We were a bit late because, well, you know.)

[SPOILER ALERT] The film tells the story of a young couple, Zachary and Beth, who decide to spend a carefree Thursday afternoon at the Mall.  At first the day goes great, with the two getting a coffee and planning their weekend.  But then the story takes a horrific turn when they decide to use the “EasyDizi” App to find the Marley Shop so they can look at speakers for their living room. The App continuously turns them around and around as they walk up and down hallways that for some reason are built on a slope. As the lost couple begin to bicker and turn on one another, it becomes clear to the viewer that they are slowly becoming possessed by a talking purple dog that lives within the App itself. In the dramatic conclusion, Zachary and Beth run screaming from the Mall and exit by the Castro’s Clothing Store.  As they huddle on the sidewalk shaken and crying and the credits begin to roll, an oblivious new couple is seen downloading the App and entering the mall.

After the film, The Daily Freier sat in on a very special Question and Answer session with first-time Director Adam G.  Adam explained his inspiration. “When I first heard that Dizengoff Center had the audacity to create a Navigation App for their Mall, I have to admit, I thought it was some kind of joke. But no, it was far too real. It was at that moment that I realized that there was an amazing Horror Film just waiting to be made.  Well that and the App got me hopelessly lost and I ended up spending the night near the Mall’s Loading Dock by the Bograshov Parking Lot Entrance.”

While disappointed that several prominent theater critics got lost near the dark hallway on the second floor that sells luggage and reclining chairs and thus missed the movie, Adam was flattered to host a somewhat disoriented United States Secretary of State John Kerry, who conveniently was in the vicinity.

 

 

 

Haaretz, Tel Aviv University

Protest at Tel Aviv University Research Lab after Chimp forced to read Haaretz Kills Itself

TAU Chimp

(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Aaron Pomerantz and Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 1/4/2016 at 11:30 AM

Ramat Aviv: Israel’s Animal Rights Community is up in arms  over credible reports that a chimpanzee housed at Tel Aviv University’s Sackler Faculty of Medicine took its own life early today after a marathon session in which it was forced to read the newspaper Haaretz every day for three weeks straight. The chimp, known as “Dudi” was found in his cage at dawn, unresponsive, and attempts to revive him with coffee and a nice cinnamon pastry failed. The Daily Freier was on the scene as various Animal Rights Activists chained themselves to the Medical School’s gate.

“This is unacceptable and it has to stop. NOW.” exhorted an impassioned Tamir W. “To force a defenseless creature to read Haaretz cover to cover for three weeks. I mean, I don’t even do that, and I’m Lefty as hell.” Tamir continued. “If they had just let Dudi read the Weekend edition, maybe skip the editorial page during the week, that would have been OK.  But to overdose him like this…….it’s just not right. No human could take this punishment. Well, no human outside of Sheinkin.”

Even some members of the Medical School’s student body left class early to stand in solidarity with the protesters.  A tearful Smadar K. recalled her experiences with Dudi. “As part of my internship, I used to bring Dudi his snacks every day. When I first met him, he was so happy.  But as he got further and further into the Haaretz experiment, he became plagued with self-doubt. It’s like he started to…..he started to blame himself for everything. Like when I showed up 2 hours late one day, he used sign language to apologize to me……but I was the one who was late. What the hell?”

University officials were unapologetic today, with Spokesperson Tamar C. speaking to assembled media. “Whatever. This is science.  Anyway, next week the orangutans will start going online to read +972.”